Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Divorce reduces chance of new, successful relationship
http://www.physorg.com/printnews.php?newsid=108388889
After a separation or divorce the chances of marrying or cohabiting again decrease. In particular, a previous marriage or children from a previous relationship, reduce the chances of a new relationship. Moreover, the prospects are slimmer for women compared to men.
A possible explanation for this negative impact of previous experiences might be that people are more cautious following a divorce. Dutch researcher Anne-Rigt Poortman has recently completed her Veni-sponsored study into the consequences of previous relational experiences on a person's further 'relationship career'.
The last few decades have seen considerable changes in the marriage market. An increasing number of people are entering the marriage market for a second or third time following a relationship breakdown. There they meet a wide range of singles; some of them have children from a previous marriage, others have only cohabited and then there are others who have never had a relationship. Poortman investigated the consequences of previous relationships on a person's future relationships.
The chances of a new relationship are particularly small if people have already been married or have children from a previous relationship. Although separated or divorced people still want a partner just as much, they have a stronger preference for less committed types of relationships such as a living-apart-together relationship or unmarried cohabitation. Divorcees in particular would rather not live with a partner, whereas people who have only cohabited in the past still want that. Previous divorce experiences affect the preferences of women more profoundly than those of men.
Divorced men and women quite often have a partner who has also divorced. This remains the case even if the fact that divorced people are older and therefore more likely to meet divorced people is taken into account. Hence, there appears to be a distinction between the first marriage market for people without a divorce experience and a second marriage market for divorcees. Gender and age are the most important predictors for who crosses this boundary. Women and older people without divorce experiences more frequently have a divorced partner, whereas for divorcees both men and younger people more frequently have a new partner without a relationship history.
Previous experiences also appear to influence the success of the next relationship. Norwegian data reveal that people who have experienced a divorce are more likely to divorce again. Under ex-cohabitants the chance of breaking the relationship is just as high as for people who cohabit for the first time. As soon as former cohabitants marry, the chance of them divorcing is actually slightly lower than for that of people in their first marriage. Future research should determine whether these findings also apply to the Netherlands and especially in other countries where cohabitation is less common.
Source: NWO
http://www.physorg.com/printnews.php?newsid=108388889
After a separation or divorce the chances of marrying or cohabiting again decrease. In particular, a previous marriage or children from a previous relationship, reduce the chances of a new relationship. Moreover, the prospects are slimmer for women compared to men.
A possible explanation for this negative impact of previous experiences might be that people are more cautious following a divorce. Dutch researcher Anne-Rigt Poortman has recently completed her Veni-sponsored study into the consequences of previous relational experiences on a person's further 'relationship career'.
The last few decades have seen considerable changes in the marriage market. An increasing number of people are entering the marriage market for a second or third time following a relationship breakdown. There they meet a wide range of singles; some of them have children from a previous marriage, others have only cohabited and then there are others who have never had a relationship. Poortman investigated the consequences of previous relationships on a person's future relationships.
The chances of a new relationship are particularly small if people have already been married or have children from a previous relationship. Although separated or divorced people still want a partner just as much, they have a stronger preference for less committed types of relationships such as a living-apart-together relationship or unmarried cohabitation. Divorcees in particular would rather not live with a partner, whereas people who have only cohabited in the past still want that. Previous divorce experiences affect the preferences of women more profoundly than those of men.
Divorced men and women quite often have a partner who has also divorced. This remains the case even if the fact that divorced people are older and therefore more likely to meet divorced people is taken into account. Hence, there appears to be a distinction between the first marriage market for people without a divorce experience and a second marriage market for divorcees. Gender and age are the most important predictors for who crosses this boundary. Women and older people without divorce experiences more frequently have a divorced partner, whereas for divorcees both men and younger people more frequently have a new partner without a relationship history.
Previous experiences also appear to influence the success of the next relationship. Norwegian data reveal that people who have experienced a divorce are more likely to divorce again. Under ex-cohabitants the chance of breaking the relationship is just as high as for people who cohabit for the first time. As soon as former cohabitants marry, the chance of them divorcing is actually slightly lower than for that of people in their first marriage. Future research should determine whether these findings also apply to the Netherlands and especially in other countries where cohabitation is less common.
Source: NWO
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
http://www.nwo.nl/nwohome.nsf/pages/SPPD_5R2QE7_Eng
Now, American studies show that the divorce rate for people who cohabitate then marry is HIGHER, not lower, than for married people who did not live together.
This makes me wonder who their study group was. Europeans also have much lower marriage rates than we do; compared to us, they think nothing of living together. In fact, I have a German friend who asked me, in all seriousness, WHY I was getting married.
Good question.
And if neither divorced men nor women want as much to remarry, where's the problem? I have to say after this I would be more cool with a nonmarital relationship.
I love when my European friends make fun of the US divorce rate. I say, that's because at least we get married. It's easy to have a low divorce rate if only 15% of couples get married -- probably the ultra conservatives that would never dare thinking about divorce. But I don;t think this has anything to do with the post and I'm too sleepy to make any sense.
The Netherlands is a bit different, especially outside the urban area in West Holland (Amsterdam/Rotterdam).
Couples co-habit together there too for years before either moving apart or getting married. The difference is that marriage has a different, slightly more binding legal status. Couples often decide to get married before children are born or before moving into a larger house for instance. I know of several couples my age where both persons have never co-habited with others before and in most cases it would surprise me if they didn't get married eventually. This pattern is with exception of the pre-marital co-habitation more comparable to the US.
I guess it also depends of the individual.
Getting divorced and not doing anything about it is one thing, but getting help through counselling, groups, reading, learning about yourself and your behavioural patterns would DECREASE the chance of getting divorced again, I would think.