Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Hard to believe four months ago I was a mess over a guy that treated me badly. Did the rebound thing just made me feel worse got my head together and I have now met someone very nice. Going to go really slow this time and watch for red flags. Kinda felt bad for him because before I even would go out with him I had to of asked like a 100 ?'s looking for red flags. He is separated from his wife. No chance of reconciliation. Married 20 years he left her for a year 1x then she convinced him to try again. Was with her a few more years they had what he thought was his son. At 6 months old he finds out she cheated with a friend DNA test proved he wasn't the father and he left 3 days later.
Anyway on to my question. I have never been through an actual divorce but I do not think its going to be as easy as he is hoping. They want to save money an have a do it yourself. They had discussed it right after it ended. He still has two daughter with her. She said she wants no child support since he will have them just as much as her. She has got all the electric, water, etc... in her name now. He gave her the 1 car they had. He plans on giving her the house also and everything in it. All he wants now is out. She just needs to refinance and pay off the loan in their name and just have it in hers which he has tried to talk to her about and she keeps avoiding. She has bad credit so I am not optimistic she will be able to do it. I am doing my best to stay out of it but I see so many red flags for him to get screwed if he does not get a lawyer.
Has anyone been through a do it yourself divorce and is it really going to be as easy as he thinks when they have kids and property? Anyone that has went though a divorce a run through of how it all goes down would be nice please.
Anyway on to my question. I have never been through an actual divorce but I do not think its going to be as easy as he is hoping. They want to save money an have a do it yourself. They had discussed it right after it ended. He still has two daughter with her. She said she wants no child support since he will have them just as much as her. She has got all the electric, water, etc... in her name now. He gave her the 1 car they had. He plans on giving her the house also and everything in it. All he wants now is out. She just needs to refinance and pay off the loan in their name and just have it in hers which he has tried to talk to her about and she keeps avoiding. She has bad credit so I am not optimistic she will be able to do it. I am doing my best to stay out of it but I see so many red flags for him to get screwed if he does not get a lawyer.
Has anyone been through a do it yourself divorce and is it really going to be as easy as he thinks when they have kids and property? Anyone that has went though a divorce a run through of how it all goes down would be nice please.
Your heart is good, but I personally would stay completely out of their divorce. He has been married for 20 years and has a long history with his wife. Both of them need to work out the divorce themselves and without boyfriends/girlfriends in it at all. And unless he is totally stupid, he realizes he can get an attorneyhe doesnt want to.
Divorces can be done very easy/very rough depending on the parties and their willingness to work together. It appears they have been trying to work this out alone and have been doing well so far. Dont even think of getting involved at all and then you cant be blamed for anything that goes wrongif you do get involved and then get blamed, your butt could get kicked out his the door and the divorce could turn into a full war. You dont want to cause that as kids are involved.
I personally would not have gotten involved with him at all. He is going through this and the chances of this being a rebound relationship are great. I wouldve told him that when the divorce is over and he is over his ex, and if he is still interested, then give me a call. Also, I wouldnt risk my name being thrown about in a divorce if it breaks down and turns rough and nasty. Take care and many hugs
When I got divorced that way it was I took my stuff, he took his stuff, he filed, I signed papers and done.
'm using a lawyer now because there is animosity and more things to divide and its a very angry divorce but it's way easier to use lawyers,
I agree that waiting till the divorce is over is probably a good idea. HEr saying right now that she doesn't want child support and then when it comes divorce writing time, she may change her mind.
If you just met the guy you should be able to walk away pretty easily and even tell him to let you know when his life is more sorted out.
He may have a lot on his plate while he's going through a divorce and may not be able to be very attentive as a potential boyfriend..