Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I got married at 50, and after 7 years of marriage, and 8 years together, I found out my husband had been unfaithful. I divorced him immediately. No kids, but his family was my family, but since the separation, I have never heard from any of his family to this day, so I lost them too. I have no family of my own. Mother, Father, brother all passed away, so my husband was my everything. I was completely blindsided, and now just devastated. Almost a year in May since the divorce, and I've done therapy, expensive life coaching, praying, nothing has worked to make me feel unstuck in my grief. I'm on anti depressant medication, and I still just feel hopeless. Why would god give me what I thought was the perfect man that adored me, perfect life, home, money, everything that I finally deserved after having so much loss all my life, to now be completely alone? I even had to move out of State, just to not see him in my small hometown, so I could try to rebuild my life. I would never trust him again, and he didn't leave me for another woman, but was going to those massage parlors paying for sexual services, gross. (worse, I could have got a serious disease). Regardless, he still lied when he was confronted, and tried to blame me for it, then tried to get me to work it out, but I think he's a sleezeball, but I still love him in my heart, but not to get back together. I just feel completely alone, unloved, worthless, abandoned, and unwanted because also as a sexual assault survivor, I think the PTSD kicked in, and his betrayal made me feel like the little girl that was unlovable. I used to have hope in relationships, and humanity, not anymore. I'm still a good person and help people even in my grief, I volunteer autistic kids, try to help others, (I just can't make myself go to church yet). But I am so sad inside, I don't think life will ever be the same for me. I've lost all hope, and have no passion for anything. I just go through the motions, and keep busy. My ex-husband I trusted, and who was my best friend, showed me only betrayal like Judas, and there is no one in the world that I can trust moving forward. Myself I guess, but that just means being alone for the rest of my life. For if you knew my ex-husband, I would have trusted him with my life, and he turned out hurting me more than anyone ever has. Not sure what anyone can tell me to make me feel better, but I just would have wanted my old life back, and I know that will never happen. Just like when your child dies, your angry at god for it. I guess I am angry at god for taking my marriage away. I deserved happiness after so much loss, because there is nothing to be learned from this tragedy, absolutely nothing. Another door is not going to open blah blah. Not at 57, I should have been enjoying our retirement together and life, not divorced and being alone. Like really, I'm going to now go on-line to start dating at my age? Start over to be judged by the way I look, etc. I didn't want to have to go through this again. Sometimes life is just not fair, and for me its been my entire life. I just thought I finally deserved a fairy tale (I had it for a few years) then it turned into a nightmare. Now I live in a place I don't want to be. I have to start all over making new friends. I have no family, and his family dropped me like I was garbage, when I thought they actually loved me. I really was the perfect wife, he just was a narcissist I guess, and I couldn't see it until the very end, because you never see a covert narcissist until they get tired of you like playing with a new toy. They are selfish and only their needs and wants are important at the time. He was sorry because he got caught, and now I'm left to pick up the pieces I never thought in a million years I would be doing.
-
Just thought I would join this group now that I am a widower. My wife passed away May 28th. She was "The Wind Beneath My Wings". When I met her, I was a drunken, dope smoking, fighting, hell raising biker. She told me if I could get rid of the inner storm within me, that I could be a blessing to people. God placed her in my path to stop me. I have been drug and alcohol free now for 53...
-
My husband and I got our foster license last month, after 3 years of hard work (we had to start over multiple times due to family dramas and Mom's open heart surgery). We spent a year preparing the whole house, guest rooms, and children's bathroom for older kids of 7 yr old and up. Then we got a call that we have been approved to receive twin newborn premies. What, what?!! Babies!? Premies?!...
Give yourself a bit more time to work this all out. I am 3 years out and I still have my moments...
Here if you need a friend
I am sorry this happened to you. My first wife did me very badly and even tried to kill me before I moved out.
As far as saying : I can't make myself to go to church". That may be the very place you should be for healing. Life deals us some very hard issues at times. You mentioned "just like when your child dies, you get mad at God. I did lose a son in a car wreck. He was 37, left 3 kids behind. I never got mad at God but, I did asked Him why. You also said you don't feel like life will ever be the same for you". How do you know? Who knows, maybe going to church, God may send some godly man your way. I guess I have to ask this question but, what have you got to lose at this time in your life? We never know what the future holds. We can speculate all we want to but, we don't know. Giving up of life is not the answer. I do commend you for working with Autistic kids. My little grand-daughter has autism. I am here if you wish to converse further. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Peace and Blessings to you!!!!!.Yes it is possible to have freedom and Joy
like never before after your circumstances, All the above advise is from such caring angels and your story surely has rested upon our hearts.... deeply. Thx
you for sharing it because Sharing Heals. The process of Unblocking is key
to Unlocking you from this episode on your life,but you have to be willing to
take the advice like PIECE by Peace stated as well as all the advice given.
Now one secret is that the life you now dream of,one filled with passion,Joy
is within YOU, you you you you you, This is where that GOD of the Universe
makes a grand display of the most outstanding and loved of all his creations.
Created perfectly (not by our own judgement to notice this and not by this worlds standards) we have the capability to absorb and harness resilience
that can be sharpened at our own beckoning.
Dearest Friend let me tell you this- sweet is this Love that the Universe created,Perfect it is in the sense that it cannot be challenged and yet it is
misused and most wildly misunderstood,
If your ex is a Narcissist and I have the fine privilege of knowing one for 18 years- he is in love with himself and yes can only see himself and only cares
for his own recognition. Still you gave your heart and soul now you have to
release him back to the Universe. This is Universal Law. If your ex preferred his own way and to commit these acts then your responsibility as an act of
love is to be able to operate in your Higher Self and out of love release him to
to the Universe and to his own understanding,
Now a narcissist comes into your life by way of the Universe and what has
occurred has happened FOR you not TO you because the Universe loves you. It wants you to be aligned with it and you were not aligned BEFORE you
met your husband and the reason for this was because of things that occurred in your past that you never faced, Now when the issues that your
narcissist ex presented into your marriage "your response and reaction to it
exposes that you were not a whole person before you married him.
This is the MOST important factor for you to move on and secure the life of
passion that awaits you : ).
In order for you to Move On full throttle you need to revisit any old wounds
and lies that were embedded in your sub·con·scious see the below definition
1.
of or concerning the part of the mind of which one is not fully aware but which influences one's actions and feelings.
You need to address all that and dispose of it by releasing it to the Universe
and Im dead serious here's why.
I know some women that are 60 years old and are more beautiful,gorgeous
some inside and out, some just mostly in or some mostly out more
beautiful that some 30 year olds that I know or 40 year olds- so your age
would never prevent you from attaining a life of passion never ever never
so kick that thought and put it to bed,Its your mind that has a tactical control
right now and theres some crap in your corner hidden that is anchored to
those thoughts,
Do the work and dig it up , up root it and discard it, release all to the Universe
any sexual assaults,any lies you were told, any pain that was caused even
ones you hardly remember, release it, daily, keep doing it, Go into yourself
and tell that scared little girl that it is okay and you apologize for abandoning
her in any way at all ages because the truth is you did abandon yourself
in your subconscious,.
This complete focusing on yourself if you do the Releasing all to the Universe doing it daily,this is called healing and nurturing yourself will
create a paradigm shift in your mental,Do you know why? because you
are becoming aligned with the Universe and healing and the Universe
responds by filling you with nourishing light and healing energy.
Harness it,
Love and Light hugs
oshe
My 1st ex husband beat me with a belt, kidnapped me ,put me in the hospital told me if he couldn't have me no one would and he went to get a gun to blow my brains out. And that's just a few things. ....... So I just knew at age 50 that I would get the right one and even asked God If he wasn't right don't let me marry him.
It was after w e were married and my emotions were enmeshed that he began to change and showed me that he was a sociopath. It was a nightmare. He began to act very strange and had a gun under the bed at night and it was then I knew i had to leave him. That was 3 years ago.....
Since then I have poured myself into what I love which is being a motivational speaker and walking in my purpose. I have always loved inspiring hope in others and impacting lives for greatness. Pass anything you have went through or endured I truly believe that you have something within you that No One can give you.
Your value and your worth comes from within. I have felt so inadequate throughout my life but the pass 3 years when my worst fear was realized, I was aware that I'm still alive. And something in my spirit said Your purpose is in you and sometimes we go through being broken even though it hurts so bad. I thought I was going to lose my mind.But my brokenness pushed me into a place of boldness, a different direction that has been amazing. I get to do what I love and what really resonates with me.
I believe there's great purpose within you. And its never to late even when you feel that God is not on your side. I definitely was angry with God but he's our creator. So I had to realize that he Sovereign even when I don't like what he allows. He told me everything that has happened to me is for my Highest Good.
Today I stand on that after living in depression for 2 years I have a whole different perspective and outlook. I don't want to be in another relationship. I just want to love me and travel the world impacting lives.
Great things are for you Just wait and see. What do you like doing? What resonates with you? What causes you to smile and spend time doing that.
Love you my Queen. Listen to Love Yourself by Mary J Blige Youtube her lol
“Look Beyond The Clouds And See The Sun"
Kindle Version:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B072QBFGB9
Paperback Version:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/1534925678
I went home thinking I had met my prince charming who had also been there that entire month. Baby girl came Jan 2015 and we were married that May. All was good until Christmas eve when I decided to look over my Verizon acct online and realized that this man was talking to one of my bff for over 2 months alomg with a few girls that went to my church I had been a member at fir over 4 years. Of course he admitted guilt and that it was never in person. 5 months later I scroll past his 2 fake fb profiles at the bottom where it suggests friends I may know. So EVERYONE could see it as well. He was on every singles sites and had several more fake profiles on Instagram and others alike. As I learned how to go online and pull up photos sent from his phone, I realized I was married to a MONSTER. He literally could be in the Guiness Book of World Records. He would send the same photos to hundreds of females a day. A pic of his D to 41 in text and 47 in messenger is what I counted in just a 6 hour time frame. He would not work due to his obsession with this. He laughed at me amd called me pathetic when I dropped to my knees having a panic attack after seeing what he had been doing.
What is worse than anything is that this was happening smack dead in the middle of my girls being under a safety plan and an investigation due to their new 17 year old stepbrother touching them and fondling them while at their biological dads house. And their dad took the teenagers side through it all. In the small town i was in, you dont dare cause drama under your roof while kids are already being treated for abuse even though I was the one protecting them and fighting to get Justice for my girls. The investigation was between June 2016- October 2016. The sites and pics I discovered happened end of June beg of July. And he threatened me daily to screw up the investigation if I said anything about what he was doing. He was concerned for my kids the first 2 weeks. Even going to visit the local D.A. and all. Until I caught his infadility. Then I was made to stay still and do what was the most important and fight for my kids. As soon as the meeting for the case was closed, My manager at work notified me to open my work emails immediately. I was a finance manager at a local loan company. The email was notifying over 77 stores in my state that theu would be shutting them all down within 10-14 days. I went in shock and my husband hadpacked him and my Baby girls belingings and was waiting for me. He took her for 6 days before he brought her back. He jumped on me that day. I went to the police station, filed a protection order, filed charges, filed fir a divorce with my last check, and began packing my 6 kids and a 4 bedroom house that was soon to become an eviction. I crossed state lines and moved in with a friend and drove my kids the 80 mins a day to school until I had better plans of schooling. I met a soldier in the beginning and he took charge of everything to get us out of that small town. I questioned him and his intemtions for awhile of course. I prepared for a 7 month long custody battle, again. This was my 4th in 2 years. My ex kept trying to get primary the 2 years prior. I have sole custody of them all.
I wrote all my pain on paper and put it in a bottle. I stood at the edge of the pier in Myrtle Beach, SC and I gave it to God. I walked away a different woman. Yes im still healing yes I have my bad days. Yes Im on support groups and prob will be for the rest of my life. What is crazy is that those 28 months with this Narcissist with only the last (9 months being complete hell on earth), was the worse abuse I had ever endured. Which is a big thing for me to say because half of my face is titanium with bars plates screws and pins holding my cheek and eye socket together and my c3-c7 discs are damaged causing me to not feel my hands and fingers most days except for a deep burning feeling. I sometimes wake up from sleeping wrong amd cannot lift myself up to get out of bed without help. Happens rarely but happens. All that abuse was over a 7 year span in my early 20s over a decade ago and it is Nothing compared to what this Narc did to me in a 3rd of the time and only minor bruises and a few whelps inflicted 4 times.
I talk to God and I put my trust in him. I didnt let him guide me before and that reason alone is why we pick the wrong mates. Let him draw the path at which you were created for and pick the mate he created just for you before you were ever born.
Im sorry my story was long i just wanted you to know that their is hope. It mind over matter. You post sticky notes all over your mirror if need be but dont allow this man or the neglevt from his family to take up any more of your prescious time that you can never get back. Love yourself and know that you are a child of God created for Astonishing love and with gifts that will move mountains. I am writing a book on my experiences and it helps. Ted.com is an excellent source to hear other motivotional stories.
You are not done and you are not too old by far. Thanks for listening and again im sorry for the length of this. I tend to detail things out more than needed.
God Bless