I do not want to be married to my husband anymore and want to file for divorce.  He is an alcoholic who refuses to get help.  After years of "this is the last time"s I finally told him in April that if he does not stop drinking and if he does not get help, I will no longer be his wife.  My youngest daughter told me that when My oldest and I were out of town at a concert he brought alcohol into the house.  She spoke up to him when they were at the store and told him he should not buy it, he bought it anyway.  

This is the little girl whose voice was taken from her for years as her grandfather abused her.  She was afraid to speak up to tell what was happening.  We have been working on getting her to use her voice for years.  Now, she used it, and he ignored it.  I am sick and angry.

This feels so similar to disclosure.  When my oldest tried to tell me when she was 5 that her gfather touched her, I did not hear what she was trying to say.  In her little head she was telling me what happened.  What I heard was that he rubbed her back.  Years later my son came forward saying that gfather touched his penis.

My oldest has been very vocal about her dislike of her fathers drinking.  He is a functioning alcoholic so I always turned a blind eye.  Instead of stepping away from him, I have been trying to teach her to not let his drinking affect her.  I see now that I have again not heard her.  I feel like a terrible mother.

Now our youngest daughter has come forward.  He says stupid stuff to them when he drinks.  He told her that his doctor perscribed him 1 beer a day.  It's the lying and stupidity that is the problem.

I have te keep telling myself that 2 out of 3 of my kids have spoken up.  Do not wait for the 3rd to come forward.

I want a divorce.  I am looking for an attorney.  I am in contact with a financial advisor to help me get that end figured out.  Thing is, I havent told my husband.  I told him in April he needed to stay sober and get help or I am out.  Well, he is drinking.  I am out.  I feel I should not have to tell him anything.  And yet i feel like I am lying to him but not saying anything.  I feel like I will know the right time to do it.

My kids' birthday is tomorrow and I don't want this to ruin it.  There is always something going on that tells me now is not the right time.  Am I just making excuses?

Thank you all for listening.