Here we go, back in October of 2016 I really liked a boy. I had feelings for him and I wanted to be with him. When I went to him about this after making him a gift he told me that he had feelings for me as well. However, this boy had a proposition. He told me that we could be together as long as we kept it on the down low till summer. Big mistake. This last year has been a hard one for me. I was manipulated, gas-lighted, belittled, and treated poorly on several occasions. I don't think I'm going to be able to name all of them. He told me to not speak to his family or be friendly toward them and he told me to not hang around his friends and when I would I was completely invisible. However, I continued to see him. I drove to his house constantly whenever he wanted using my gas money and he never once drove to see me because he never put in the time to get his license or use his own money for that matter to save up for a car. He was wreck-less with money and he wasted it on video games and a console while he complained to me to buy him condoms and food and he absolutely insisted I get on birth control because you guessed it, he wanted my virginity. (I kept my virginity thank God) I was never allowed to tell my friends or family what was going on between us or he'd threaten to leave me. In terms of manipulation he used the classics like "If you really love me then you'll come see me" or "I guess you don't love enough to keep my word or do X Y Z for me." It was also me who was putting forth the effort. I always texted first, bought stuff, etc. I lost a really good friend of mine while this was going on because he was a boy and it made my boy jealous and it fills me with regret to this day I can never get that friendship back because I choose to be loyal to the wrong person. One day when I went to see him, my car started smoking and I thought I wasn't going to be able to get home because I thought I was going to be in danger. He didn't want to call anyone or tell his family anything because he didn't want to get caught with me so he left me with my smoking car, and told me to tell a lie if someone found me about what had happened. He constantly degraded me as a person and all that I stood for. He made fun of my Christianity, he made fun of what I watched, he made fun of my activities, he made fun of my music, he made fun of my friends, he made fun of what I wore, he made fun of my poetry and art yet he would always ask me to draw for him or write him stuff. He did this so much that it began to wear me down and it made me more compliment to what he wanted. He would constantly tell me all of these plans that HE had for the future and what HE wanted to do. He would talk about other women and say things like he wanted to get a bachelors pad but whenever a male friend of mine would talk to me he would get upset with me and tell me "I'm not an idiot. Don't talk to him." He would go out and get drunk with his friends or tell me to go away because he was hanging out with them. And after everything I did. After I promised my all, was loyal to a fault, gave and gave and never got anything in return, he told me that he wasn't ready for a relationship and that he didn't want to talk about it and there was nothing to talk about. In the end, he started being nice to cover his tracks so he would be in less trouble. He told me that I was only allowed "three questions" and he told me that we need to be "adults" and respect each other and that I would never tell my family because I loved them. He told me not to tell his family or friends what happened and no matter how badly I was hurting not to tell anyone what was the matter and to delete all the messages. And he continued to lie to me on why he wanted to leave. Which are displayed in the photos. Why I stayed? I finally found out. I wanted love. He constantly promised me marriage and a future and children and I was denied it in the end because of excuses like "I'm broke" and he finally rounded all up by saying "I want to spend time with myself thinking about me" At the end of it when I told him he used me he denied it all and said "don't worry, maybe someday you'll find someone as special as me"