Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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aggiedolphin823 04/30/2009

So last week I got a letter from jail from my ex-bf and against my better judgement I read it (and then remembered that I was going to mark it return to sender unopened). Anyway in the letter amongst trying to convince me that I should give him another chance (yea right) he says in there that he is planning on writing to his ex-wife.

His ex-wife had left him for another man and as far as I know is still with this man and they have a child together. The dilemma that I have been wrestling with is this:

I don't trust him to be truthful, though she will see that the letter is coming from a prison. Do I write to her and let her know what he did so that he won't be able to try and manipulate her to try and get back in her life and the life of her child. I never met this woman but don't want her child put in danger if my ex was to try and get back in her life.

What do you think is it worth writing or should I just let her make her own judgement?

deleted_user 04/30/2009

Sometimes you just let things run their course.

Unless she's in immediate danger, I would let this one go.

You will only cause yourself more aggravation, and insert yourself in the middle of something that you don't want to be in the middle of.

deleted_user 04/30/2009

I am really torn here as one whose daughter was abused by her step father. Had I known, I may have saved her, but no one knew.
I would want to save a child at any cost, but to keep immersing yourself in his life is a mistake. I am hoping that you will have enough strength to not answer and to return anything else that might come. There is nothing good that can come of this, and he might think he has a chance if you open them and don't return them. Stay strong. Hugs, Kimmee

FrankTheGreat 04/30/2009

Why is he in jail?

deleted_user 04/30/2009

unspeakable actions against a child

deleted_user 04/30/2009

Write her by all means if the child could be in danger. She needs to know.

aggiedolphin823 04/30/2009

Thanks everyone, I don't want to have any part in his life and will not respond to him regardless. She may not ever want to get in contact with him but it just worries me that he was going to try. And kimmeee if he ever does write again I plan to return it to him , curiosity isn't worth reading anything he has to say to me and causing myself more pain.

deleted_user 04/30/2009

I would say you have a moral obligation to let her know if he's a sex offender. Sorry, but I believe sex offenders lose their right to privacy when they exploit and violate children. I have no mercy for them. Besides, if he's a sex offender he should not be able to have any contact with children at all right?

Good luck.

lycesq 04/30/2009

Aggie - I agree with the other posts. As far as I am concerned, he lost his rights when he inappropriately touched your niece. He's been convicted of it. You need to alert the ex wife because, in my experience, child molesters don't get cured - they re-offend. And yes, I did work with them and represent some until I decided I really wanted to cut their balls off so I stopped representing them.

Warm hugs to you and I agree, notifying the ex wife is the moral thing to do.

Lynne

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