Breakups & Divorce Support Group
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Im thinking today about "differences" between my recent ex-boyfriend and I.
Backstory: We were together for a year and a half. He was deployed to the Middle East for 11 months of that. He is due to get out of the Army in about 6 weeks. He randomly went no contact, no explanation, nothing for weeks.... and then sent me an EMAIL (yeah, he is a WIMP) stating that he has decided not to stay in this area and is moving back to Cali. Although his email stating all kinds of random CRAP about how I didnt let him into my life..blah blah blah. Whatever works for you, bud..but you dont have to blame your choice of moving on ME
Anyways....
About those differences? Do they matter? Isnt it part of accepting people for who they are? Are the little things crucial? Sure, the big things such as sharing the same core values, beliefs, and morality matter...but does the little stuff too????
Such as...
*He found it repulsive that I like to off road in my Jeep. The muddier the better!!!
His little Camaro has to be spit shined at all times.
*Im very careful of what I put into my body. I eat super clean and healthy, dont drink, and take care of myself the best I can.
He eats crap, and is always drinking with his boys. Ugh.
*I'm a communicator
He's shut down
*I like to be busy
He would rather watch a gazillion episodes of Family Guy all day
Does the little stuff matter? i dont remember this being an issue with my ex husband. We lived completely separate lives, so it really wasnt mirrored to me all that much.
Just curious
Backstory: We were together for a year and a half. He was deployed to the Middle East for 11 months of that. He is due to get out of the Army in about 6 weeks. He randomly went no contact, no explanation, nothing for weeks.... and then sent me an EMAIL (yeah, he is a WIMP) stating that he has decided not to stay in this area and is moving back to Cali. Although his email stating all kinds of random CRAP about how I didnt let him into my life..blah blah blah. Whatever works for you, bud..but you dont have to blame your choice of moving on ME
Anyways....
About those differences? Do they matter? Isnt it part of accepting people for who they are? Are the little things crucial? Sure, the big things such as sharing the same core values, beliefs, and morality matter...but does the little stuff too????
Such as...
*He found it repulsive that I like to off road in my Jeep. The muddier the better!!!
His little Camaro has to be spit shined at all times.
*Im very careful of what I put into my body. I eat super clean and healthy, dont drink, and take care of myself the best I can.
He eats crap, and is always drinking with his boys. Ugh.
*I'm a communicator
He's shut down
*I like to be busy
He would rather watch a gazillion episodes of Family Guy all day
Does the little stuff matter? i dont remember this being an issue with my ex husband. We lived completely separate lives, so it really wasnt mirrored to me all that much.
Just curious
especially his resistance to communicate
and you always seemed a person putting energy into "plugging in"
and that difference in headspace IS MAJOR stuff if you ask me
Given your background with the military, perhaps it's time to find a civilian that might make you happy.
My take on some of the specifics you mentioned. Not that I'm being judgmental, mind you. Just my opinions. We all know about opinions! ;-)
Finding it repulsive you like to off-road and get your jeep muddy seems way too petty to me. Almost like he was looking to find some bone of contention.
Eating crap... Well, not a big deal unless and until it negatively impacts health.
Always drinking with the boys is more than a little thing. It's predictive of trouble down the road.
Not a communicator is a deal-breaker in my book.
Watching a gazillion episodes of Family Guy all day... Well, I think I would find that annoying if it was a pattern and especially if it got in the way of actually enjoying life or doing something that needed to be done. Like paying bills, balancing the checkbook, shopping, house or yard work.
From my experience people who always get upset about the little things tend to be control freaks or just way too obsessive. That tends to put me on edge. Walking on eggshells. Never know what the next little thing that bugs them is going to be.