I'm new here and welcome any support I can get. After 15 years in a relationship with an angry, controlling, verbally abusive man, I told my husband I wanted out in December. I agreed to stay until my stepdaughter (I raised her and am the only stable adult in her life) graduates high school this month. We also have a son who is almost 3 and has a disability.

I guess hearing that I was leaving was finally what my stbx needed to hear to finally get his life in order. He has lost nearly 80 pounds, got a promotion at work (despite cutting back on his hours to spend more time with family), finally shares household chores and childcare and is in therapy for his anger issues. But it's all too late for me--my feelings haven't changed and won't. All I want is to get out and it's been really difficult living with him while he constantly violates my boundaries and tries to spend every second together.

He brought zero friends to the relationship and I think tried to actively isolate me from mine, so I don't have a lot of social support and am afraid of tapping out the few family and friends who will listen to me. I am in therapy to deal with how severely this relationship damaged my self esteem but most of the time I am overwhelmed, exhausted, and lonely. I literally don't know anyone else who is divorced or single and I have no idea how anyone gets through this. I have at times had suicidal thoughts and can't even confide in my therapist in case it affects my custody case. I am trying to look forward to the future and stay hopeful but my god, it is hard. Please someone tell me it gets better (and when?). Thanks.