However time can run slowly as in you aren't doing anything for yourself...or more quickly because you have therapy, hobbies, reading some books on recovery, etc

You've got to do the work and time willl take care of itself,

it does take time. i hate that answer too- but the people that are saying it have lived thru this and gotten to the other side of this and know all about it.
stay busy with other things- set some small goals for yourself. take a class, exercise, get together with friends, read, volunteer, whatever. yes- it still sucks even when you do all of those things- but the time moves by faster and you will be doing something for you that you enjoy instead of focusing on the clock ticking by. journaling helps me a lot too. you arent alone. best of luck to you.

I actually feel pretty much the same. I have been 'trying' to do. I feel like I am running in circles.
I can't get ahead/lead on anything.
ugh! Pulling my hair out!

Keeping distracted from what goes on in my head, is what helps pull me through.

It ain't easy, divorce. GOod luck!!

It starts to get better when you are ready for it to get better. I don't know anything about your situation. I have learned from this site that while we share so many commonalities; we are also so very different.

No one can tell you why it is taking longer for you. There are so many variables amongst all of us that result in the ''time required'' to heal and be recovered is vastly different.

This is a good place to share, gain hope and gain some tips on what has worked for others.

Good luck to you.

Dear GBB78: I feel exactly the same way and I DO read many of the posts that all say "it get's better with time". I am trying to stay busy, make positive changes, etc. but it has been 18 months (9 separated, before divorce last May) and I still feel as you do. Therapy has not been the answer for me, either. Maybe there IS something wrong with me?! ((HUGS))

I too hate waiting! I have no patience! I heard something once from Joyce Meyer that made me look at time a different way. It helped me maybe you can get something out of it too... she said: "You know how if you get up in the morning before the sun has risen and you just sit and watch it rise it seems to take forever, but if you get up and get on with the normal things you have to do like shower, get coffee, etc... the sun is up before you know it". Just get up every day and live your life that day, stop looking at the sun waiting for it to rise. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other and try to do things YOU like and the sun WILL be up before you know it!

HA HA I love the title. Distract yourself, drink, and have a good time with friends!

Dear GBB78,
I am going through the same! It's been really hard for me and feel anxious, depressed and don't want to feel the pain anymore! I know he's ready to move on, and as much as I keep my self busy nothing helps! I want to open my eyes and not feel this pain! I wish you good luck and let's keep trying! hugs!

My sister said to me,..."you have to give time, time" All your emotions, memories need to be perjured from you system and that takes time.....it like detox all the poisons are in your body and the need to leach out. The more you feel and the more you learn the strong your recovery.

I agree. The one thing I said over and over again right after it happened was "I wish it was 6 months from now...." or "I just want it to be better NOW". Don't wish your life away. And don't sit in bed all day wallowing. Wallowing does not help. Get up. Get dressed. Make yourself go to work, class, whatever. Surround yourself with people that support you and it will all happen faster.

Mate,

I think time is relative. If you are busy there is not enough of it. If you sit and watch the clock it seems to be in slow motion.

What worked for me was I didn't wait the time to heal as many would argue that I should have. I went out, dated lots of ladies inspite of my heartbreak. This served two purposes for me. I. I got laid :) two it was like stabbing my cheating, now ex-wife in the heart.

we all cope in different ways and this worked for me.

I hated hearing time too hun! So tired of waiting for that time to come. But over a year later I can say that lots of time, staying busy, talking and journaling has made me happier today. I woudln't change my life right now at all and that is a miracle to where i was a year ago. Hang in there!

It is true that it takes time...and no matter how much we ALL hate hearing it...it happens to be true. The other thing is YOU have to want to let it go and move on. If you don't...time is not relevant. If you are going to let it consume you...then you are going to be unhappy and depressed for a very long time. I have been separated for over a year now...divorce is nowhere near final. I even had a short relationship towards the end of last year that ended...and set me way back!

You have to want to pick yourself up and get some peace and happiness back in your life. Hell, I have to see my STBX husband 5 days a week cause we own a business together. I could allow myself to still be devastated over his affair...but its not going to get me to a happy place...so I had to find that place for myself.

If you want it bad enough, you will find it!
Good luck to you
(((((HUGS)))))

My mother's favorite saying was, "Time heals all wounds, and time wounds all heels." I don't know I'd that was her way of saying that everyone will get what they deserve in the end, but it's certainly not been effective for me. I do my best to tell myself that things will get better with time, but it hasn't so far. I occupy my time with spending time with my kids, work, with walking, running, watching old movies, going to church, praying, and lots and lots of sleeping. So far I still feel miserable. But I've decided if I can make one person smile per day then I'm doing my part to make this world a better place. That's my goal right now. That's all I'm aiming for. One smile from one person per day. And if I'm lucky somebody returns the favor. Several people here have, and I'm grateful for when it happens. Hope my rambling's been helpful. If not, at least it killed some time until Glee starts...