Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I signed up for match.com and one gal on this site suggested that I change my status from "separated" (as wife and I are going through a legal separation) to "divorced" even though we are not divorced. Her thought is that I should do this because women will think I might go back to my ex is I am separated, not divorced. but if I change my status to divorced and meet somebody, isn't that lying? she said maybe I can just explain myself to a prospective date later. However, the STBX changed her status on facebook to "single" when she's really not. Hope she don't lie to a guy that she is single when she's not.... but that's her problem.
so what should I do? I can use some advice here...
so what should I do? I can use some advice here...
And if you do date, please be honest.
Why are you rushing into it? From what I got on your post, you aren't even legally separated yet. Right?
The divorce is going to drain the hell out of you and confuse the kids enough. Why start something new just right away?
BUT, If you are determined to go the way of dating sites, Don't lie on your profile. What a horrible way to start out a relationship. If the person you are lying to finds out, you'll probably be history.
Good luck to you
I don't think you should even be on match.com yet, at least not in an active sense.
Think if it as a jewelry store.
It's OK to look, but don't touch and wait to buy when your darn sure you are ready.
The fact that you are asking tells me that you are not ready. Work on yourself first, figure out why the marriage failed and fix those issues. That seems to be what this forum is about, fixing the things wrong with us that put us in the situation in the first place.
It's OK to be alone for a while.
2. Why get through the divorce before trying to get matched up? There is a high chance that this will just be a rebound and it won't be fair to her or you.
3. I agree with...I think Jaken who said the fact that you're checking her profile and care about her status (although you claim you don't) speaks volumes. What's the rush? Maybe find some friends to hang out with. One step at a time.
What if the woman you date and lie to is perfect for you? What if she is just getting over being lied to in another relationship....ask yourself if you would want to be lied to....
I am one of those women who met someone great and then found out he isn't really available because his divorce is not final. I didn't appreciate being lied to (we are divorced) not to mention having to listen to all the divorce negotiations (mine was well done/over).
Please don't start on a lie.
I wish you the best.
she gave me the news last january that she was not coming back and wanted out.... as of now I am not looking to get into anything serious. would be kinda nice to have occasional female companionship but everybody is right that I'm not ready to jump into anything.... there a few things I gotta work yet and I am like a crysalis that is changing into something else... and I gotta wait until I see what that is first... although to be honest it's hard to fight the urge to automatically replace her with someone else.... that's why my smart analytical brain takes hold of the reins of my emotions and yanks hard and keeps them in check...
I do appreciate the honest comments though....