Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
So very true. The whole process is just stupid and just a pain in the ass.
Today I am just taking it easy on my day off. I get a text from a chick that I had a date with about three months ago. I was attracted to her but I figured that she wasn't interested. We end up setting up a date.
During the date I find out that a lot of her life was up in the air when she told me that she was getting really busy and she couldn't really hang out (this was a few months ago). It has settled back down and she is staying in the area that she is currently living at. I figure cool.
The date went well. I dropped her off back at her place and walked her to her door. Got a big hug and then went on my way back home. Now I am left with the question: Is she interested?
I can't tell at all. I really would like to know these things but it isn't obvious. It is like a game to try to figure out if the girl likes me or not and I suck at it! I am sure that she can figure out that I am interested. Then I am trying to figure out if she is just into dating or she is looking for something more than just a casual companion.
All be it, this was a second date, or sorts. We have already had the first date three months ago.
Does anyone else wish that the process was much easier? Wouldn't it be nice if you knew what you were getting into when you went on a date and you knew what the other person was thinking of?
I hate games like this.
Today I am just taking it easy on my day off. I get a text from a chick that I had a date with about three months ago. I was attracted to her but I figured that she wasn't interested. We end up setting up a date.
During the date I find out that a lot of her life was up in the air when she told me that she was getting really busy and she couldn't really hang out (this was a few months ago). It has settled back down and she is staying in the area that she is currently living at. I figure cool.
The date went well. I dropped her off back at her place and walked her to her door. Got a big hug and then went on my way back home. Now I am left with the question: Is she interested?
I can't tell at all. I really would like to know these things but it isn't obvious. It is like a game to try to figure out if the girl likes me or not and I suck at it! I am sure that she can figure out that I am interested. Then I am trying to figure out if she is just into dating or she is looking for something more than just a casual companion.
All be it, this was a second date, or sorts. We have already had the first date three months ago.
Does anyone else wish that the process was much easier? Wouldn't it be nice if you knew what you were getting into when you went on a date and you knew what the other person was thinking of?
I hate games like this.
For example.....My job requires a lot of complex decisions but they are made quickly. I usually know the outcome of situations very quickly and that is very nice. I dislike it when things tend to be unclear and the outcome is unknown for quite some time.
My other problem is that, by nature, I tend to analyze EVERYTHING!!!! That is probably why I LOVE doing Crash Reconstruction and I am so good at it. I simply use data that I gather to constantly analyze the scene until I know exactly what happened. This usually doesn't take me very long but I also tend to go into really in depth analysis of these events (so much so that I anticipate defense attorney stragities and the time and distance adjustments civil crash reconstructionists tend to play with and I will refute them).
Why can't everything in life be that concrete? Damn
I also hate to state the obvious but Dude! It's only the second date... slow down turbo! LOL!
If she took the time to contact you again after her life "settled down" I'd say there's some interest there.
As for the whole going out on your boat thing, let me say this. I'm dealing with trust issues and won't put myself in a position where I'm fearful of something and someone else is in control of my safety. Sounds odd I know...trust issues rear their ugly heads when you least expect it. It could be as simple as that. Boating may be new to her and she's just a little fearful of it. If she doesn't know you well this may be an uncomfortable situation for her.
I've just started dating too. Right now I have "no expectations" of anyone I go out with on a date other than they be respectful, polite, clean and not have any addictions!
It's a DATE! Not a life commitment.
Quit mind-gaming yourself.
She came back didn't she?
See if she comes back again.
Take a step back, see it for what it is not what you want it to be.
it only takes one person to make it a game don't let that game start in your mind so it is only being played by one.
I think as we progress as a society, more of the human psyche is presented to the public, and where you would have slick used car salesman, they have evolved into slick human manipulators.
I think the mindset was simpler in the "old" days, and people really weren't in tune with anything but basic feelings, and that was good enough.
If the answer was yes to all three questions. There is a good chance she likes you. There is no game going on here as far as I an tell, just a little insecurity manifesting itself.
With respect to the sailing date, think about it from her perspective. If you only dated once before three months ago the sailing thing is almost like your second date. She'll be on a boat, alone, isolated with someone she barely knows. She will have very little control over the situation. Why not suggest a different date where she might feel more comfortable?
She texted you to set up a date after 3 months of no (or sporadic) contact.
She made it clear to you that she had no room for you in her life when you first went out 3 months ago, but she now does.
She gave you a big hug at the end of the night.
You ask, "Is she interested?" Well, duh.
But then you say you want to know "is she is just into dating or [if] she is looking for something more than just a casual companion." Don't look for an answer to that just yet. That's a step beyond "Is she interested?"
She's interested. Take her out a few times. You'll figure out the rest later.
Don't expect anyone to offer you anything more than that after only going out a couple of times.