I am sorry to hear of your illness. I am sorry your boyfriend left you under such circumstances. I cannot imagine how hard this has been for you, but from what you have said, devastating might be an under statement.

The actions of a single man cannot define the actions of all. An illness as serious as you went through can scare people horribly. I guess it scared him and he could run while you had to stay there.

You will ind another man, but only when you allow yourself to live. I get the impression you might be stuck with the scars, physical and emotional from the cancer and the abandonment of the man you loved.

Allow yourself to fall in love again without fear. Live without fear. Are you expecting the cancer to return? What if it does? What if it doesn't? What if you allow yourself to fall in love and you meet the man who not only rocks your world, but even more likely, you rock his.

Have you seen a counselor?

I understand your fear. I have Lupus, and due to that, there are restrictions I live with daily... Extreme fatigue, joint pain, I can't be in the sun long, no more children, etc. I am always very up front about it, and I have had a couple of guys tell me that I'm sweet, nice, pretty, etc, but that doesn't jive with the lifestyle they want to live, however the majority don't care. I was on chemo meds for a while for treatment, and during that time I just didn't date because I was so sick from them. The good ones don't care, and its a non-issue, and those are the people you want around you. If someone can't handle the fact you had/have a disease, they aren't worth your time. Try not to let your disease define you.

I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer soon after I graduated college. It was a horrible experience and although I was lucky that it was stage 1 and removing my thyroid is all they needed to do, the fear and the anxiety related to this situation has never totally gone away for me. I didn't tell my ex about my past cancer situation for almost 2 years and when I did he didn't react so kindly. It bothered me so much at first but I have learned that anything can happen in life. You can get hit by a car, loose your leg, get a serious illness, you need someone in life who is strong enough to go through these things with you and wants to be your rock through this not some coward who will run at the first sign things get difficult. I want someone in my life who looks at me as STRONG for what I went through, someone who admires that I was capable of getting through all that I have not someone who looks down at it. We didn't ask to have cancer right? Yet we didn't give up !!!

It takes a lot to go through the things we have and a partner in life is supposed to make you stronger and make you feel you can overcome any challenge in life, those people do exist so if you come across someone who doesn't accept the things that happened in your past then you are dodging a bullet.

Everyone isn't your boyfriend who left you. He's one person out of a billion out there.

BTW - Sorry for your illness - I know how hard it is to deal with cancer.

It's natural to have fears - but if you beat cancer - you can beat the fear of people leaving or staying. Stay optimistic. Seek therapy if you feel you can't do it solo.

Good luck.

I have seen a counselor. I saw her for a few months. I really want to see her to talk about my grandma who passed away from pancreatic cancer 2 days before my last chemo treatment. We talked about my ex but just briefly.
My cancer could pop back up at any time just like any other cancer. I had ovarian cancer at 29. I needed a complete hysterectomy. That was really hard on me cuz I don't have any kids of my own. But my oncologist said that if it comes back I'll be battling it for the rest of my life. But they're keeping a close eye on me.
When I got sick I had to move back into my parents house so they could take care of me. My bf got mad but the Dr said it would be the best thing for me plus my bf couldn't take care of me he had a job and I had to change the way I ate and he couldn't cook. I did all the cooking, cleaning, and the list continued. Plus he was a heavy pot smoker. When I told him I was sick he told me to get my medical pot card so I could get him pot.....

I haven't moved on yet because I am nervous that no guy will want to be with someone that had cancer....Plus I'm still living with my mom, but we just lost my stepdad to cancer. So I doing be leaving anytime soon now. I need to help my mom and be there for her.

Thank you everyone for taking time to read my post and writing back. I know Mr right is out there somewhere for me.

Yes, your mom can use your support, sorry about your gmothers passing. My mother died in 2011 from pancreatic cancer. I hate cancer but love life - what can we do other than live it.

I can totally get your concerns but trust me, even folks without a chronic illness don't know who would want them - I think is best to find a purpose in life and stay on track without waiting for Mr. Right. If we meet him in the process, that's great.

There are tons of folks out there who have been touched by cancer and will embrace you, your illness, etc. Keep your chin up - I know it gets tiring though. My thoughts are with you.

People often get afraid and jump ship. I myself don't put myself out there for the same reasoning as you. But there are those who do want to go along for the rough ride. The way you get past the feeling is acknowledging your ability to do it for someone in your position. Been to many radiation treatmentsand emergency room visits and the point is to find out who is willing and enjoy the ride while you are waiting for them. MANY HUGS