Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I have become stronger as an individual. I miss my ex-girlfriend of two years deep down inside, but I do not let that out. I have been changing that depression into a passion for becoming the best part of myself. I strive to be 10x better today rather than yesterday. It has made me more observant of what is going on in the world around me. Every time I get negative thoughts, I instantly turn them into positive ones because being negative will not get my ex-girlfriend back. Therefore, I have been pushing myself each day to be positive.
I am graduating this semester with my associate's degree in business administration. I have gotten the mindset that college is my number one priority this semester. I want a woman who will be 10x better with me as well, a woman who will support me through thick and thin in this hard time of the semester. I want a woman who will be "all in" with me and be that support I need when I am down.
The issue I am having is keeping that hope of that woman alive in my heart. Each day that hope goes away bit by bit. It makes me cold and heartless because that hope is disappearing of a happy life with the love of my life. I have become very close to possible relationships. I try out to find new connections, meet new women, and they "flake out" because they are not mature enough to commit. It has uproared a fire in me like no other because I give women my time and it is not appreciated over and over again.
I am writing this post to ask for help, help that is constructive and positive that will help me when these connections do not work out, what to do when another opportunity pops up, and how to set standards and barriers when they come up.
I have all this hurt and anger inside of me, and all I do is push it down further and further in my stomach. I have faked being myself for so long that I have become that fake person. I hug women; I casually flirt with them and act happy. However, nothing bites back because they all don't realize how valuable I am. It is depressing and upsetting because I want to find someone who cares about me and supports me through my roughest times. This period of being single has sucked because I like having someone that I can depend on being there for me.
Look, this woman, seems like she is only making you feel worse about yourself. You say "she doesn't see me for how valuable I am." That is a shame but look. Does that matter? You are only as valuable as you think you are. It matters what you think of yourself. You yourself are the one that can come out of this and know what you're truly worth. She doesn't define you and your value.
Easier to say, than think and validate yourself on. I know.
The dating and just going with the flow... pretending to be a certain way and act is if you're not in pain/over your ex's shit is totally normal. I am currently going through that, but there are good moments with those that I am close to (friends, family).
Have you tried focusing your energy elsewhere as in, going to the gym, cooking for yourself, reading a book, or going to your local coffee shop, going out to a movie alone, things like that? I know it may sound stupid and ridiculous BUT doing things on my own has helped me be at peace with myself when I crave company, etc.
I have been having a lot of anxiety attacks inside because those memories come right back to my head. The other girl I started to go out with after three dates practically flaked out on me too because "she's so busy with work". That makes me really mad because if you like someone, you'll make time for that person no matter how "busy" you get.
Referring to your activity question, the only activity that I have really done is throw myself into college and not focus on anyone or anything other than college. I was going to the gym for a while but I have not done that in a while. I'm a guy who enjoys experiencing other fun things with people I care about so I haven't done anything fun because of that.