Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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arlo-fan 10/04/2016

After 26 years, my husband told me he didn't want to be married anymore. He had an affair 10 yrs ago, went through counseling, fixed our issues...I learned and grew, he has slipped back into old habits. The first month of crying, freaking out anddoing all the wrong things. (using my 2 daughters 25 & 23) as a sounding board . I have stopped the crying, he is currently living in the basement, it is set up like a mini apt. we do communicate much better now, as we both have come to the understanding that we are probably doing the right thing, although it is very hard to do. 26 years is hard to toss aside, we still like each other as good friends would. there is soo much history between us, it will be strange not seeing him or speaking to him at least a few times a week. I have noticed as the court hearing gets closer, 20 days away, I am feeling much more emotional. going through pictures and seperating them for my girls. second guessing our choice, but deep down knowing its right, but not wanting to at the same time... excited to start fresh and new, but scared to meet new people and move to another area. hold on it's going to be a wild ride !

giddy_eagle 10/04/2016

You sound like you have a great attitude. It's a bumpy ride for sure, and will be quite different when you're no longer in the same house.

Be glad your daughters are fully grown. My marriage of 25 years is over due to repeated infidelity, but my daughter is only 15 years old and full of anger and pain.

Good luck to you. Wee hear to support through the difficult times as well.

mirandac 10/04/2016

I hope you have a therapist to help you
At this time. Divorce and all the other
Stresses are too much For most of us.

Transitioning and changes are brutally
Hard to cope with after a long marriage
Good or bad, its even worse if it was bad
More to process and move thru.

I loved divorce care.org I went many times
its only A 13 week session. It helps with the
grieving and the divorce process.

Keep reaching out to good healthy loving
People as you go thru this. I barely kept my
Sanity intact.

I did not have to live with My ex but we coshared
the property. I had to Do a lot of numbing up to
deal with him now i have no contact.

My move was not very exciting i did it for my sanity
and so i did not to see him or his family all the time.
I still Get triggered enough.

Lean on your lawyer during this time thats what they
Are there for. I know it costs money but make sure all
Is as it is suppose to be. HUGS

samantha717 10/04/2016

I am right there with you. I have been married for 23 years and we are also currently sharing the same house. Mine is not very amicable though. I am trying to see my divorce as a good thing though, something to celebrate. I know I am way better off without him so I'm trying to look at it as the closing of a chapter in my life ... like graduating college for instance ... and the beginning of a new one. I am considering buying a nice new outfit for court and getting my hair and make up done, kind of like you do when you're getting married. I am also planning a divorce party, although I don't really like the word "divorce" because it sounds so sad. I will think of something better. One thing I thought of is that people really should hold "divorce showers" for their friends. Moving into a new place is not cheap and you need so much new stuff to start over. I know people will say, "You are just being greedy because you've already got your old stuff," but that is not always true because you are having to split your old stuff with your ex and besides, I know a lot of couples who have lived together for years and still have bridal showers when they get married. I'm not going to have one for myself, but I think it's a great idea that I really wish would catch on. I am trying to think of other ways that I can put a positive focus on it. If I could afford a nice vacation, I would go on a "happy-moon" with a friend or two as well.

arlo-fan 10/04/2016

I went to our previous therapist who helped us through his cheating years ago, and she explained that after being married for so long, that going through the divorce, it is like a death. The death of the relationship, and we go through the same steps. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. How long we stay at each stage is individualized, but the sooner we get to acceptance the better. But we do need to give ourselves time to move through.

I would totally go to a divorce shower! Even if we do have things, starting fresh is best. I don't have many Non- work friends and I find myself sitting at the house thinking...I should be doing something, I am waiting till divorce day to take off my ring...I wish he was two people, so I could tell the one that was my best friend about the one who is breaking my heart...Every day is another step to me...If I just knew who that was ?! lol

samantha717 10/04/2016

I think a divorce shower would be beneficial for many reasons. First, it would bring your friends and family together at a time when you really need their support. Second, you do NEED new things. Third, it would give you something positive and fun to focus on for a change. You could even register at places like Target!

11Christmases 10/05/2016

I LOVE the divorce shower idea. I have long held the opinion that bridal showers are no longer necessary, unless the bride and groom are marrying right out of high school, which rarely happens anymore. Divorce showers are more necessary, IMO, since you likely have cut your standard of living in half and have paid a large portion of your savings to your attorney. I also love the idea of getting hair and make-up done.

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