I'm sorry he is so clueless and selfish. Can you make the visitation not an overnight and that they stay hear home? Is the issue that he doesn't get to bed on time?

thats one of them (not to mention leaving early for the commute each morn). Most importantly, Ryan has a special diet (no artificial colors/preservatives) one morning they were not even feed breakfast :( the lunches contain caffeine, another no-no for Ryan. The ex knows all these things, but does not implement them.

Are you already divorced? Does the custody or visitation cover the special issues? If not, maybe you need to go to court to add them.

can you prepare some of the meals and send them along with your son? i know what you mean about needing a break, but it sounds like you are just going to have to be strong. best.

Wish I could help but I have the same issues with my stbx, tried everything to make him understand, feels like banging my head against the wall. I hope someone comes up with advice, I'll be watching this post.

i'm not sure how to help here, other than getting documentation from the teacher at school as to the behavior pattern. documentation from the pshychologist/pshychiatrist. if there is a continue issue here, you may have to go back to court. as for having time for youself, i understand 100%, could you possibly get a babysitter 1 day a week for the kids after school and dinner time, so you can have some me time.

meant to say if the behavior continues to decline because ex has had them.

we are already divorced. we have been for quite some time actually. when the papers were drawn up my son had not yet been diagnosed and was not in school yet so the papers do not reflect anything of the sort. :( so far ex and I have had a reasonable relationship and I know going to court will 'irritate' him so I guess I would just rather do it between us. The teacher does document everything as does my daughters teacher as well, so that is covered. I think i need to give some serious thought as to wehter or not to have this added to the papers. he wont like it because it will likely change the child support he pays me considering I miss about 15 hours a month to doc appts.... why cant he just work his schedule it is one friggin day - one day! as for me, I have built a repitiore (sp?) with and she watches the kids once a month for me so I can do shopping, etc.

babysitter is what I meant to say

I understand that you don't want to "irritate" him by bringing him to court, but if he's not willing to work this out with you, you need to do what's best for the kids.

I have issues with my X and his substance abuse. He totally ignores my concerns abd rationalizes his behavior. I had it drafted in the divorce judgement that he couldn't take our son for an overnight unless or until he completes a substance abuse program (he hasn't done it yet!). I really could use the break, but I have to stick to my guns for the sake of my son. My lawyer bill was twice as much as it should have been because I pushed the substance abuse issue. I'm now going to have to pay more because my X has violated the judgement by using alcohol prior to a visitation. DEFINTELY a pain in the a**, but it's something that I'm just gonna have to do.

Just try to talk with him rationally and try to work out a compromise. If he won't budge, then you gotta do what you gotta do!

BIIIIG HUG! I'm sorry that you have to go through this!