Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I'm curious. Maybe one of you can answer a question like this. If you and your ex broke up, would you try to play mind games with them? My ex has been playing games with me for almost 2 months now. First, I had honestly wanted to kill myself, and while I know this is wrong, and have since fixed that, she called the cops on me, which was her method of control, and also a way to try and put a wedge between my family and me.
When that failed, I suddenly got a stalker. Someone was tracking me here, and if any of you remember that bizarre post a few weeks ago saying I'm sorry to said stalker, well that was me. I may have lost it that day a bit. I was getting emails from fake email accounts claiming it was her, and that they wanted to punish me. Long story short, she called, convinced me it wasn't her, and I let it be. I at that time closed down this site, facebook, my email, my steam account, pretty much went off the grid. The isolation was killing me, and with the grand or so in games I own on steam, I decided to start it back up to play them.
So now, for the last 2 weeks, I've been getting emails from my "stalker" again. Some have been of the nature that she wants to fix things, get back with me, stuff of that nature, and others are completely mad ridden rambles, with her expressing hate towards me. Well the last 2 days have been the hardest.
It started with a messed up email, that went into some very very deep details of our sex life, that no one knows about. This confirmed it for me that it was her. I got upset and angry, so I broke my rule and emailed her back, complaining at her, telling her where she could go, and why she would do such a thing.
Well now she is full stalker mode, ranting and raving. I have had the cops called on me 3 times in the last week and half for suicidal stuff, which I haven't had any issues with in over a month and half. The cops tell me the number is always out of state. The emails seem to be a one shot per account type of deal, so she has had to create a ton of email addresses and shut them down afterwards I'm assuming. Anytime I email, i get an error saying the account don't exist, so something is up.
Today, I finally stood up for myself, and told her I regretted marrying her, and called her a troll. Not because of her looks, but because I felt like I kept feeding her anger and sorrow back, and she was enjoying it. Though to be honest right now she is ugly looking inside for doing this to me. I got 17 emails in a 3 1/2 hour window. From hating me to I miss you come back to me, to we can work it out, to hate again. Is she losing her mind?
She claims that it isn't her sending these emails, but I don't buy it anymore. Details are way to personal for anyone but me and her to know. So what is her motive for this? What would be considered endgame to this? She has driven me so far away, that I would never consider getting back with her. Why is she doing this to herself? Why is she inflicting such pain onto both of us?
She keeps claiming she wants to move on with her life, that she hates me, but cares for me, if that makes any sense. So why the mind games? What does she really want to get out of this? I'm asking solely because I'm at a loss for words. I've tried calling the cops on the harassment, and they laugh at me, a PI is far too expensive, so I don't really have a way to make her stop aside from disappearing again, and I refuse to do that.
The support here alone with my MG is enough to make me stay, let alone this board to help with all the emotional baggage that is coming with splitting up. I'm only 2 months into this separation, and honestly, I would like the next 10 to go quietly by so that when our 11th anniversary comes along, I can have divorce papers in her hands and be rid of her for good. I'm so tired of the games, and honestly wish she would just leave me alone now.
PS: As a clarification, I know her main email address. That is how I have been complaining at her. She never mails me from that email, unless it is in response to something I've said to her. Otherwise, it is the stalker emails I get, with all the personal details, and such. Just in case anyone was confused by this. Also, thank you for any advice and assistance in this matter. I'm really just looking for answers, but some advice on how to move forward wouldn't be bad either. :)
When that failed, I suddenly got a stalker. Someone was tracking me here, and if any of you remember that bizarre post a few weeks ago saying I'm sorry to said stalker, well that was me. I may have lost it that day a bit. I was getting emails from fake email accounts claiming it was her, and that they wanted to punish me. Long story short, she called, convinced me it wasn't her, and I let it be. I at that time closed down this site, facebook, my email, my steam account, pretty much went off the grid. The isolation was killing me, and with the grand or so in games I own on steam, I decided to start it back up to play them.
So now, for the last 2 weeks, I've been getting emails from my "stalker" again. Some have been of the nature that she wants to fix things, get back with me, stuff of that nature, and others are completely mad ridden rambles, with her expressing hate towards me. Well the last 2 days have been the hardest.
It started with a messed up email, that went into some very very deep details of our sex life, that no one knows about. This confirmed it for me that it was her. I got upset and angry, so I broke my rule and emailed her back, complaining at her, telling her where she could go, and why she would do such a thing.
Well now she is full stalker mode, ranting and raving. I have had the cops called on me 3 times in the last week and half for suicidal stuff, which I haven't had any issues with in over a month and half. The cops tell me the number is always out of state. The emails seem to be a one shot per account type of deal, so she has had to create a ton of email addresses and shut them down afterwards I'm assuming. Anytime I email, i get an error saying the account don't exist, so something is up.
Today, I finally stood up for myself, and told her I regretted marrying her, and called her a troll. Not because of her looks, but because I felt like I kept feeding her anger and sorrow back, and she was enjoying it. Though to be honest right now she is ugly looking inside for doing this to me. I got 17 emails in a 3 1/2 hour window. From hating me to I miss you come back to me, to we can work it out, to hate again. Is she losing her mind?
She claims that it isn't her sending these emails, but I don't buy it anymore. Details are way to personal for anyone but me and her to know. So what is her motive for this? What would be considered endgame to this? She has driven me so far away, that I would never consider getting back with her. Why is she doing this to herself? Why is she inflicting such pain onto both of us?
She keeps claiming she wants to move on with her life, that she hates me, but cares for me, if that makes any sense. So why the mind games? What does she really want to get out of this? I'm asking solely because I'm at a loss for words. I've tried calling the cops on the harassment, and they laugh at me, a PI is far too expensive, so I don't really have a way to make her stop aside from disappearing again, and I refuse to do that.
The support here alone with my MG is enough to make me stay, let alone this board to help with all the emotional baggage that is coming with splitting up. I'm only 2 months into this separation, and honestly, I would like the next 10 to go quietly by so that when our 11th anniversary comes along, I can have divorce papers in her hands and be rid of her for good. I'm so tired of the games, and honestly wish she would just leave me alone now.
PS: As a clarification, I know her main email address. That is how I have been complaining at her. She never mails me from that email, unless it is in response to something I've said to her. Otherwise, it is the stalker emails I get, with all the personal details, and such. Just in case anyone was confused by this. Also, thank you for any advice and assistance in this matter. I'm really just looking for answers, but some advice on how to move forward wouldn't be bad either. :)
Sending hugs. I agree, I don't know why the people who seem to want to end the relationships can't leave the left behind people alone to heal.
Hugs!
I agree with radrm that you should not respond in any way. No response IS a response. As wise Cowgirl Kathi often says on DS, "I you refuse to play the game, the game is OVER."
My only concern would be can she escalate it any farther? I don't really know what other kinds of tricks she has at her disposal. The fact is she is willing to go to the cops without worry of getting in trouble, so in a weird sense I'm scared what else she could do.
Honestly though, I'm just lost as to why. I never wanted this relationship to end, and even if it was toxic, now that I've looked back on it, I was happy. I didn't realize there was a problem until she uttered I'm done with you. You would think that if she didn't want me anymore, she would be gone and not bothering me. I've asked her in emails before the most recent attacks if it was her way to try and get back with me, and she told me that it would never happen. So if that wasn't the reason, why else would you play such a game. Guess my logical side is stumped on that.
Don't read them, just put them in a folder unopened in case you need evidence.
Go on with your life and put her behind you. We all have our struggles with that and working through the emotions, but we try to press on.
If you notice anything out of the ordinary, like heaven forbid someone staring at your house, just call the cops. Make them take a report. That's their job. If she's really that crazy, you'll need those reports.
Don't get paranoid, just be smart.
Won't be fun anymore. Etc
You hopefully get my gist :)