Hi jaclyn
Good job on the one month without contact! It will get easier and easier as time goes on. I know that feeling of just being so tired of battling to feel better, of battling to find what is normal again, battling to get through just one day without crying. I know what it's like to just be so tired of the entire process and the battle within, that you could just scream and you know you will go to bed and wake and have to do it all over again. I literally was praying for the smallest reprieve from the constant pain and anguish I was feeling. It was just so tired and it was a type of tired sleep can never fix. I am doing better. I cry a lot less. I am more used to not talking to him and not seeing him. seeing him and talking to him now would be awkward and would probably set me back so I have no desire to do it. In the begging I was counting days I made it through with no contact I lost count, because its just not in forefront of my mind anymore.
The only thing in life that is constant is change. Take comfort in that. the storm cannot last forever and you will come out of it stronger and better then you went in. You know that old saying? " a smooth sea never made a skillful sailor." You are learning to navigate the storms of life. You got this and you will be okay. Time time time... "In time thing will get better" I hated hearing that all the time and form everyone, but it was true. I am not healed by any means, but I have come a long ways. I remember when I though I would literally die from the pain. Now I want to live a new and better life and find myself excited about the prospects of the future. (((( Hugs)))) Hope I helped some Praying for you

Jacklyn, I am so sorry you are going through this. Believe me, I went through all that last year. Thankfully the intense pain only lasted 2 months and it started to ease off. Don't know if the fact that he contacted me sporadically. But the contacts were never satisfactory. My outcome is, I am now healed after 6 months. The satisfaction that I am getting is that he is now experiencing all the turmoil that I went through and he is reaching out for me. I kicked him in the gut instead - metaphorically speaking. I don't know what else I can advise you since what worked for me might not worked for you. This support group has been of tremendous help for me, hence I still come back from time to time. ((hugs to you))

Thanks...my Dr. and my therapist have been talking to me because i'm just not moving forward anymore. I told them: I'm tired. I'm tired of trying to move forward. I'm tired of talking about it. I'm tired of trying to make myself do things in hopes that those things will help. I'm tired of the phrases and cliches like moving forward, closure, etc. I'm just so damn tired of all of it. And it pisses me off that I'm having to go through all of this pain just because he is a lying cheating two timing donkey's ass.

You go girl!!
Get really angry about the donkey's ass that he is, and hopefully that can help you let him go completely. He doesn't deserve a moment more of your time!!!

Sometimes the best closure is allowing yourself to stop avoiding running into him. That's a lot of stress and work. I think I would cry a lot too if I had to do that every freaking day. So each day I would take a picture of him and look at it.....write down what you feel seeing it until you get to the point where you will not have to avoid running into him :-) just a suggestion. Hope things get better for you.

I like Charliegirl's idea with the picture. If you want, you could even throw darts at it but you would have to refrain from throwing darts at him if you actually saw him in real life.

Hey jaclyn,

I'm sorry for the pain, had a few tears before sleep myself the other night. You are being strong and smart. The decision to park differently is good, it's a decision for yourself. Keep making strong decisions and taking deep breaths. The pain will slowly taper off.

You can do this, God bless.

Charlie--it hurts either way I do it. Seeing him though hurts more. I can barely get mad at him let alone STAY mad at him. It just doesn't happen. Other than having him blocked, the only way I am avoiding him is to not park in that parking lot the one day a week I am over there. The lot I do park in is more convenient anyway. The truth of the matter is, the reason I WAS parking in the lot was so I would see him and/or he would see me...so this is just correcting that mistake.

Well, it would have been one month today. He contacted me to let me know he'd gotten a letter about some taxes we owed from 2011. That's one reason I do have that one way he can contact me so he can tell me things like that which I need to know. Talked about that. Talked about the dogs. He had a couple questions about Ginger and wanted to let me know she is doing well over there.

Then he started the "We have blah blah blah. We are going to fence in the back yard...blah blah blah.... " Told him I had to go....he said later...and I said...in my head and heart... nope--not going to be a later...

Walls are going back up...sigh