Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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Crushed

betrayedx2
betrayedx2

I have been with my husband 30 years and we have been through a lot.  He has been verbally and mentally abusive for the last 3-4 years.  6 months ago I couldn't take it anymore so I told him to leave.  We continued to talk and see each other with the idea we would work on our marriage.  Last week I found out he had been seeing my best friend of 35 years for a couple of months and that they had been chatting before we separated and while I was talking to her in confidence.  She used what I told her to her advantage to bait him and lure him in.  Even though it had been hard the last several years I had real hopes we could work it out and get back together.  After 30 years I wasn't ready to give up.  I didn't know he had already moved on.  Now he says he is in love and wants to rush the divorce so he can move on with her.  She was in our wedding, our kids are 4 months apart, and she lives up the street.  This has not only broken my heart but crushed my soul.  The pain is unimagineable.  I confided in her about everything.  Now I don't have my friend or my husband and I don't have anyone to help me through this.  I really don't know how to do this.

OLDBIKER
OLDBIKER
Nothing is worse than a friend's betrayal. I am going to pm you what happened to me.
RhondaDP
RhondaDP
You had the strength to endure your relationships. Use your strength to build yourself up and take the steps to making changes in your life and moving on to a better more fulfilling life. Reach out to your family and contact any support agencies. I speak to many women with similar experiences and they say that at first its difficult to get past the loneliness and fear but they are happy once they begin the process of moving on.


Many Blessing to you
serenityspeaks
serenityspeaks
I am so sorry as if cheating isn't bad enough this is the ultimate betrayal and loss. We never feel strong in times like this but you are. Take it one day at a time. Be very gentle to yourself as some days are worse than others.
betrayedx2
betrayedx2
Thank you both for your comments. I have been through so much over the years and have often been amazed at my resilience but this time the pain is so great and the obsticles I have to overcome to get to the other side seem unsurmountable. I feel defeated and ready to give up. She had been my longest friend and the one I trusted most. I also trusted him when he told me he wanted us to get back together. I don't think I will ever be willing to trust anyone again.
stillstanding
stillstanding
It hurts when you realize that you unknowingly gave someone else a lit bit of control over how you feel. What I'm going to suggest might not seem do-able right now but I want to share what I do know:

Are there activities in your community that you can get involved in to help you cope with the loneliness? I found the local Meetup groups & even social media to be very helpful Volunteer work is great for the soul and the community as well. When you get a chance this could be something to check out.

Hugs....I know the struggle is real in all areas of life.
betrayedx2
betrayedx2
Stillstanding thank you for the advice. Unfortunately i am an introvert and extremely shy. I am very uncomfortable walking into group situations alone. I do have a do rescue and have met people through that but they are far away and really only online friends. I am not involved in rescue locally because I did not get a very warm reception when I started. I was very qelcomed down south. It would just be nice to have someone to hang out with occassionally. I run the rescue alone so it takes a lot of time outside of work. I have thought of volunteering but I am such a blubbering mess right now I dont go out unless I have to. Of course that also had to do with the fear of seeing them together. I know that is going to be very painful when it happens.
foundlove
foundlove
That is horrible, I couldn’t imagine that kind of pain! Treat yourself like your sick... get enough rest, eat healthy, take care of yourself n maybe counseling will help, I hope you find strength to overcome this!
betrayedx2
betrayedx2
Strength is something I have little of right now. Right before I found out I had planned on talking to him about coming home. Now to realize that he was talking to her the whole time he was telling me he wanted to come home leaves me conflicted. The way he acted when I confronted them was all he worried about was protecting her. He didnt care one bit about me. I feel like if I dont tell him what I was going to I may regret it but if he so eager to divorce me after 30 years just to have sex with her is there anything that really needs to be said. Its hard because I still love him but I feel he never really loved me. Like he was staying with me until something else came along. Yesterday was a day filled with tears and pain and I am not coping well. I have been in counceling for a while because of my depression, but 45 min once a week isn't enough right now. I just dont understand how he can so easily turn his back on 30 years.
trisha9054
trisha9054
I'm very introverted too and I understand that part of it. Sometimes I feel like I isolate myself on this farm to keep people away. This is a strange town I find myself left in. A lot of money floating around when I have just enough to survive if I can board a horse or two to pay my bills.

I had to find a reason to keep moving forward with my life after my divorce. A divorce I filed for. A 33 year marriage I thought was good but was horribly wrong after I found all the things the ex kept hidden from me. For me anger was a great motivator to make a better life for myself. Mine was a 33 year marriage by the time the divorce was final.

You will find your way and make a better life for yourself. Most of what I do is on willpower and determination. See if that might work for you
betrayedx2
betrayedx2
Right now it feels lime there is nothing better o. The other side. My friend of 35 years knows everything about me. Losing both of them this way has left me feeling like I dont have the strength or resolve to do this. She has never said anything and he is just being cold and cruel. He thinks they arent commiting adultery because they havent had sex. Right? If I even talked to another man he had a fit. He should have never been talking to her in the first place. They were never friends before this. Now he wants to push the divorce through so she will have sex with him. He's closing the door on 30 years for that. They aren't even right for each other. It really hurts that those 30 years meant nothing to him.
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