Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I'm not even sure where to begin, or if this is even the place to discuss what is weighing on my mind.
Have you ever felt such an intense connection to someone and just don't know what to do with it?
I crossed paths with someone last year. I'm going to call him "jeep guy"
He was in the process of divorce..and we met through my local jeep club last January.
We have an insane connection. I can't even find the words to describe it. Mind, body, spirit connection. He and I discussed this several times and how mutually drawn we are.
Because he was just divorcing, I kept a bit of a distance. I certainly didn't want to be anyone, much less his "rebound" although I know that wasn't the connection we shared. When I say distance, I mean I didn't push, I didn't "persue". I just let things be.
Well, as of November, he has a new girlfriend. I know for a fact that he was guilted into this relationship. He called me one night all upset because she was pushing him, and he told her that he wanted to see what was out there, etc... She couldn't accept that answer.
Anyways, he still texts every now and then. I've completely backed off, including not attending truck events, etc. it's the right thing to do, I think.
Yes, we have remained friends. We always have been friends and he has done nothing to me for me to go no contact or cut him off per se.
Well, the text says ( it came in at 8:15 am) how he just woke up, was thinking of me..and (ugh) how he thinks about my hands and lips...and the energy we share.
Wtf?!
I turned our convo back to truck stuff.
Then...the next day I have to see his pics of his girlfriend splashed all over online.
It's painful. It's painful to be away from him in this way. It's painful to watch and see what's happening.
Here is the kicker...it's even more painful because I have never ever ever had this kind of connection to anyone. Ever. And he says the same.
So..wtf?!
I feel like the lady in waiting. And I can't do that. I feel stuck. And a little lost.
Apologies for my rant. But...what the hell is this?!
Have you ever felt such an intense connection to someone and just don't know what to do with it?
I crossed paths with someone last year. I'm going to call him "jeep guy"
He was in the process of divorce..and we met through my local jeep club last January.
We have an insane connection. I can't even find the words to describe it. Mind, body, spirit connection. He and I discussed this several times and how mutually drawn we are.
Because he was just divorcing, I kept a bit of a distance. I certainly didn't want to be anyone, much less his "rebound" although I know that wasn't the connection we shared. When I say distance, I mean I didn't push, I didn't "persue". I just let things be.
Well, as of November, he has a new girlfriend. I know for a fact that he was guilted into this relationship. He called me one night all upset because she was pushing him, and he told her that he wanted to see what was out there, etc... She couldn't accept that answer.
Anyways, he still texts every now and then. I've completely backed off, including not attending truck events, etc. it's the right thing to do, I think.
Yes, we have remained friends. We always have been friends and he has done nothing to me for me to go no contact or cut him off per se.
Well, the text says ( it came in at 8:15 am) how he just woke up, was thinking of me..and (ugh) how he thinks about my hands and lips...and the energy we share.
Wtf?!
I turned our convo back to truck stuff.
Then...the next day I have to see his pics of his girlfriend splashed all over online.
It's painful. It's painful to be away from him in this way. It's painful to watch and see what's happening.
Here is the kicker...it's even more painful because I have never ever ever had this kind of connection to anyone. Ever. And he says the same.
So..wtf?!
I feel like the lady in waiting. And I can't do that. I feel stuck. And a little lost.
Apologies for my rant. But...what the hell is this?!
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((namaste))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
If a man is so passive as to let someone "guilt" him into a relationship, to my mind he would not be good partner material, and you deserve better. Even staying friends with him at this point would just seem like self-torture to me (although I certainly do understand the strong draw of that type of intense connection, which doesn't come around all that often).
Now I am feeling that mutually strong mind, body, spirit connection with my current boyfriend--and I only hope that he turn out to be more of a truly committed person than my ex was (so far, he has given me every reason to think that he is, and no reason to think that he isn't--but I suppose only time can really tell)...
Just my two cents, coming from my own biased experience or course I hope I haven't been too blunt! :-)
(((((((((((((((((((((((((Hugs))))))))))))))))))))))))
And yeah....it's another reason why the text bugs me... Yes, I feel it was inappropriate considering he has a girlfriend...and my ex husband was a serial cheater. So yep...that's crap.
I hate the connection thing..it's really screwing with my head...
I had that kind of connection once...before my x...and I can't even describe the way he would make me feel. However, when he was in relationships he would behave in completely inappropriate ways. He and his ex wife divorced about the same time that my ex and I divorced and he tried to contact me. I did not respond. He works with my dad and made several comments to him about possibly being his son in law. No matter what connection we had, i cannot approve of his behavior and want no part of that as an adult who, i like to think, has her act together.
My advice is to cut the communication with him altogether. There are so many amazing men out there who you will be able to trust. I am not sure he is one of them.
I'm not pining for him...I'm just feeling the pain of losing that kind of connection...it's difficult to know I will most likely never feel that again.
I suppose I should shift my thinking...and be grateful I had the experience.
truly
i'm disappointed in him, I had good feelings for Jeepguy, but ah well, it sounds like there are a number of us who have felt that overpowering "thing" only to find out it was fleeting for them
I remember months ago when I was feeling that my life had lost its "sparkle" and things just felt kind of flat, you assured me that the "sparkle" would return with time, and even though it was so hard for me to imagine at the time, you were right (even before I met someone new!) --so, similarly, I hope you can hold on to the hope that a deep, wholistic connection is possible to find again, even though right now it feels so unlikely. Although, I do realize that doesn't make your current loss any less painful :-(
@Metta - so glad you have found someone you can feel all those good feelings for again. I am still to focused on getting past this but you do give me hope that it doesn't end here. I still scared of being hurt again but someday.
We all deserve someone with honor and integrity. My ex had neither.