Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
My husband wanted to have lunch today to "tell me something important" and to "get it off his chest". So, we meet and sit down and talk face to face for the first time in months. Of course he tells me everything that he's told me before, "You guys (kids and I) or my REAL family. I am sorry,please give me another chance, I know i fucked up big time, huge time" and on and on. Get to the fucking point, is what I was thinking. Tell me what I already fuckin know already. What a warned your stupid ass about months and months ago.
He tells me, "Uh, I know I've hurt you and the kids so much already and I just want to come clean, and uh tell you the truth. Um, we have another baby." And, I just look at him and say, "You mean the baby ya'll just had or ANOTHER fuckin baby?! He says, "Well...uh..um..We had another one." and I say, "You mean to tell me that you did it AGAIN EXACTLY AND PRECISELY what i told you NO Fore WARNED you about? That this bitch would make sure she got pregnant AGAIN because she was gonna try to have girl next to replace OUR boy and girl?"
AND THIS STUPID selfish son of a bitch says, "Uh, yeah,....i guess..uh i did. And I say, "Please don"t tell me it's a girl now" and he says "Yes its a girl, she is five months old and was born one year on the same day as the boy." So, this is how my husband is trying to, "work things out" and "prove to me to take him back" Well, he has his boy to replace our boy and now a girl to replace our little girl. I have to watch my kid suffer ALL fucking over again feeling like their Dad had "replaced them"
Congradufuckinlations on your new replacement baby girl hubby!
He tells me, "Uh, I know I've hurt you and the kids so much already and I just want to come clean, and uh tell you the truth. Um, we have another baby." And, I just look at him and say, "You mean the baby ya'll just had or ANOTHER fuckin baby?! He says, "Well...uh..um..We had another one." and I say, "You mean to tell me that you did it AGAIN EXACTLY AND PRECISELY what i told you NO Fore WARNED you about? That this bitch would make sure she got pregnant AGAIN because she was gonna try to have girl next to replace OUR boy and girl?"
AND THIS STUPID selfish son of a bitch says, "Uh, yeah,....i guess..uh i did. And I say, "Please don"t tell me it's a girl now" and he says "Yes its a girl, she is five months old and was born one year on the same day as the boy." So, this is how my husband is trying to, "work things out" and "prove to me to take him back" Well, he has his boy to replace our boy and now a girl to replace our little girl. I have to watch my kid suffer ALL fucking over again feeling like their Dad had "replaced them"
Congradufuckinlations on your new replacement baby girl hubby!
In your case, obviously you need to manage the telling. I benefited from a book, Helping your Children Cope With Divorce, I think that is the title, which gives wording and strategies for telling them difficult things. Above all, don't let him decide what or when or how to tell them. What I did was email him the exact words to say and specify exactly when to do it, then I could kind of prepare them.
You are doing all the right things. Too bad that jerk does not know what a gem of a woman he had.
You are going to have to come up with a story that shows that your children are the first and there will never be another first. That your children have a wonderful mother, not a person with no morals (of course you have to use different language, maybe say that your family was not created or based on hurting anybody).
Try to stop thinking that he 'replaced' them. He did not, he never could. He just shadowed them with offspring from an inferior woman who is not fit to carry your shoes.