Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I wasn't planning on posting on here anymore but I'm still having an issue with something. As I once mentioned, my ex had drunk sex with an intern he works with in December. College girl (he's 25). They never talked before, were both extremely drunk, too drunk to even manage having sex for more than a few minutes (apparently) and overall I guess it was completely awkward. She made the first move. He ended up walking away with chlamydia (ew) so it seems she's no stranger to one night stands. They haven't spoken since. He doesn't like her at all, isn't attracted to her and they both agreed it was a huge mistake. They weren't even sure how it happened since they didn't know each other. It was a group of coworkers that decided to go out and she's in a different department.
We had been talking at the time (I was actually texting him that night...which makes me sick) and he honestly bawled to me when he came out and told me what happened and how horrible it made him feel. I know he owes no apologies to me since we're broken up but it was a pretty shitty thing of him to do the day after he apologized to me for how he handled the breakup & asked for my friendship. We had agreed not to get involved with other people for a while.
He and I have seen each other a few times since he told me. We've been in the talks about a possible reconciliation since we've been discussing the issues that popped up in the last few months of our relationship. Fixable things. We had a strong foundation and neither of our families would object to this because we were a good couple. So I don't need opinions on that part of this.
However, I'm still having trouble with the jealousy linked to this incident. I looked her up on Facebook and she's not prettier than me. He told me it was bad, that she was a terrible kisser and he didn't enjoy it because it was so weird. We had an amazing sex life and to this day he's still extremely turned on by me. Right after he admitted it, he said "why do you think I've had so much attraction for you lately?"
All in all, it was a meaningless drunk incident, as I'm sure many guys do after a breakup. I can forgive him for that. I just don't know how to shut off these thoughts. My imagination makes me keep questioning things, makes me insecure that his college age male coworkers who saw them leave together said "nice!", and that he didn't think of me before he made that decision to go home with her. I want to put this in the past. I want to be able to feel confident again and not compare myself to her. Most of all, I don't want this to follow us into our new relationship if we do reconcile.
Any advice?
We had been talking at the time (I was actually texting him that night...which makes me sick) and he honestly bawled to me when he came out and told me what happened and how horrible it made him feel. I know he owes no apologies to me since we're broken up but it was a pretty shitty thing of him to do the day after he apologized to me for how he handled the breakup & asked for my friendship. We had agreed not to get involved with other people for a while.
He and I have seen each other a few times since he told me. We've been in the talks about a possible reconciliation since we've been discussing the issues that popped up in the last few months of our relationship. Fixable things. We had a strong foundation and neither of our families would object to this because we were a good couple. So I don't need opinions on that part of this.
However, I'm still having trouble with the jealousy linked to this incident. I looked her up on Facebook and she's not prettier than me. He told me it was bad, that she was a terrible kisser and he didn't enjoy it because it was so weird. We had an amazing sex life and to this day he's still extremely turned on by me. Right after he admitted it, he said "why do you think I've had so much attraction for you lately?"
All in all, it was a meaningless drunk incident, as I'm sure many guys do after a breakup. I can forgive him for that. I just don't know how to shut off these thoughts. My imagination makes me keep questioning things, makes me insecure that his college age male coworkers who saw them leave together said "nice!", and that he didn't think of me before he made that decision to go home with her. I want to put this in the past. I want to be able to feel confident again and not compare myself to her. Most of all, I don't want this to follow us into our new relationship if we do reconcile.
Any advice?
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Just thought I would join this group now that I am a widower. My wife passed away May 28th. She was "The Wind Beneath My Wings". When I met her, I was a drunken, dope smoking, fighting, hell raising biker. She told me if I could get rid of the inner storm within me, that I could be a blessing to people. God placed her in my path to stop me. I have been drug and alcohol free now for 53...
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My husband and I got our foster license last month, after 3 years of hard work (we had to start over multiple times due to family dramas and Mom's open heart surgery). We spent a year preparing the whole house, guest rooms, and children's bathroom for older kids of 7 yr old and up. Then we got a call that we have been approved to receive twin newborn premies. What, what?!! Babies!? Premies?!...
I don't want to seem to be direct but, I don't want you to get hurt all over again,.
Missy - I'm not sure he was over me long enough to get into bed with her. He had been very depressed, lonely and was trying to feel close to someone. You're right though...he did nothing wrong and I'm going to have to stop looking at it as something "shitty" he did to me. Rereading my post, he has been more than apologetic than he even needed to be so I'm going to try to erase it from my brain like he is.
I really appreciate your perspectives. I'm in my head a lot so posting on here helps me see that sometimes I have a distorted view of situations.