Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
It is 2 months since I saw him with someone else, after that for 4 weeks I tried to sort it out with him, but gave up after constant gaslighting. I told him I would send one last email to him after a month if he did not want to speak about it, since then there has been no communication apart from one text from him.
A week back he texted me on my birthday and I did not respond / thank him. I did not want to open any channel.
I am still hurting as the picture is printed on my mind and this is the final nail on the coffin.
I plan to write to him in a month or two and get the sense of finality / closure. We have always left things unsaid and gotten back together and each time it has been worse. I want to write only after my emotions no longer cloud my mind.
Sometimes I think it is futile to say anything, but I still want to close without assigning blame but saying what's in my mind.
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I haven't written in my diary on my computer since May because I thought that my computer was dying. I got away from writing but my computer is hanging in there. I think that I will start writing in it again. It's so therapeutic.
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Years ago, I won a mirrored armoire from my job. It's in my bedroom but I rarely stand in front of it. Yesterday, I had to have a dexascan done so I had to change into a gown. There was a full length mirror in the changing room. I'm aware that I gained 5 to 7 pounds over the last year from cheating on Keto but I didn't know what it looked like. It was a reality check.
I would strongly suggest you NOT send him that last letter. Go ahead and write it, but never ever send it. He does not care about the letter. Guys are not like women in that way. I used to think that, also.... I'll send one last letter with everything I wanted to say.... I have done that before.... and guess what? He never even read it! That was the last time that I did that.... lol.
Write the letter for yourself only. And rip it up, burn it, delete it.... just do NOT send it to him.
---> Why give him the satisfaction of you pouring your heart out to him???? If he wanted to be together, you would be together. He would not have gone off with some new person. Where is your note from HIM???
Just don't do it! You said finality/closure..... you get that by having zero contact and moving on with your life. THAT is your closure. It is not healthy for you to tell someone that you are moving on and goodbye... just move on and they already know it's goodbye....
(Trying to save you from more heartache)
How are you doing? Are you keeping busy, therapy possibly, seeing friends, family, working, hobbies, exercising, self care.... ???? Take care of YOU first, and then you will attract the person you are meant to be with.
Take care.
I have been busy with work (getting back on track) also with friends, pretty much ticking the right boxes. tried some therapy, it did not work much.
Advice from you (and few others) helps much more.
Grateful for it.