Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Today is the day. The day that my wife removes her final belongings, takes one of the cats, and drives away from me for the last time. I always promised that if she chose divorce, that I would remain civil and make it as amicable as possible. I have upheld that promise and made sure not to turn to my old ways of being vengeful and nasty. I am struggling, because although I have been aware of our problems, I really didn’t see this coming. I have asked if we can go to counseling and when she said she didn’t want to, I decided to go on my own. I am trying to close the door on our future because it is what she wants, but my mind keeps telling me to hold on to what we can have. I am scared. Scared that I will keep the door open and harm myself by not allowing myself to fully move on. I love her. I want to be married. We didn’t have any “real” problems like abuse or cheating or alcoholism. We had poor communication and due to my lack of self confidence, we had some intimacy problems. I have been working on myself for 6 months and finally have my confidence back. The day she admitted that she wanted a divorce was the day I planned to recommit myself to her. She beat me to the punch and ended things before I had an opportunity. She has a lot of self work that needs to be done. She is scared to move forward in life and I fear that I put too much stress on her during our relationship. I wish only the best for her and am trying so hard to forgive both her and myself for our shortcomings, but this is so difficult. I feel like an unwanted failure and am having trouble keeping my mind in a positive place.
You need to focus on you, what you want and need . Then you can come to realize all you have to offer... then move forward yourself. I do realize how hard this is to do. (a struggling myself... but we will BOTH get there.
Hugs
I was not aware she had started having an affair the last 6 months before she left until after she was gone. That she wouldn't go to counseling, had no interest in talking about our challenges, all made sense once I realized she had fallen in love with someone else.
What I can tell you, that no matter how dark things seem right now, they will get better if you commit yourself to healing. It won't happen by yourself. You need to be willing to listen to the counsel of others whom you respect and that have your best interest at heart. Don't try to run away from the pain, it can run as fast as you can, and avoiding it only delays the healing.
You will get there!