No - I just tossed it all out, donated it or sold it. It happened in several phases - and yes - each time it helped me feel lighter.

I didn't do a formal goodbye letter. I had a notebook that I wrote in whenever I got beyond angry and would write until my hand was shaking. That helped too - and it was one of the last items to get thrown out.

I think whatever day you choose to do it on will be a lovely, remarkable day filled with some closure - anniversary or not.

xoxo

If you are good with it, do it! I am planning on the same thing after the divorce is final. I feel that the ceremony will be very freeing and beneficial.

Good luck and let me know how it goes...

(((((((((((((((((((((Hugs)))))))))))))))))))))))

I burned all the pics, sold his clothes to buy new ones for me, I still have some papers but I might need them so I'll wait until the divorce is over so I can make a huge bonfire and make smores or something like that hehe... But when I burned the pics I did feel way better, didn't write a letter because I feel it won't be over until the divorce...

Well I just spent the last hour gathering up all the photos, letters, cards, marriage certificate, the only article of clothing I have of his and now I am ready for a bonfire :)

I am making a big juicy steak, a baked potato and opening a bottle of wine. After dinner I plan to write the goodbye letter... And then up in flames it will go.

I kept two photos, one was the very first photo we took together and one on our wedding day. I packed them in a small box with my wedding rings, wrapped it up tight with tape and put it in away. I don't plan to ever open it, figure one day when I leave this world my nieces will find it.

Thank you all for your input...I think it is time for me to breathe...to let go...and start anew!

I will let you know how it goes!

Sounds like a really nice evening :) Although you might get a bit emotional, but it's normal I guess, I really hope you feel better after this, we all deserve a fresh start!
Sending good vibes!

HOLD ONTO THE MARRIAGE CERTIFICATE. It is a legal document and if you aren't working and divorced and he dies, you can get survivors benefits from Social Security by showing that Marriage Certificate.

ATGB...even if we are divorced??

You will need that marriage license for social security especially if you were married at least 10 years.

I will be able to draw SS off the ex's earnings, l will get half and if he should die I will be elgible for his full amount.

It's a lot easier to keep those important papers than having to get new copies.

Ok then...I will keep the marriage license and file it away with the divorce papers.
We were only married 7.5 years...didn't know I could draw on his social security!

I hope your burning ceremony helps give you peace and a new state of mind. I think I'll try it with the few items that I kept from the past. I donated most everything but a few photos and a set of martini glasses (that was a Christmas gift) . I still use them on a regular basis! LOL

I hope it comforts in some small way to know you're in my thoughts and prayers.

Even if you aren't married 10 years, keep marriage certificates in your important papers when divorcing.

When my first husband died, I was divorced from him and working but was able to collect survivors benefits for my son. If I had not been working, I would have been able to collect survivors benefits for myself from him even though I was divorced.

I do know a DS member who says she has seen this help people who do this and wants to let go.
I wish you luck.

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))

Well I did it! The goodbye letter was 6 pages long and I was able to get out all the things I never got to say to him. I took a very dramatic photo of 10 years of my life going up in flames. I am emotionally exhausted now. Tomorrow is a new day... I have to start moving forward!

Good for you. I have been thinking about burning the letters and cards from 17yrs of lies. I want to burn the pics of him and I too, but I wonder if I should keep any for my kids sake. My ex is in prison so part of me says screw it and burn them all. You have inspired me to just get it done.

I burned the stuff just like you're talking about. Honestly, I didn't feel one way or the other when I did it but in the months following the fire, I did begin to hate her less and now I have no ill will at all. I'm just neutral. If I had to do it all over again, I suppose I wouldn't change anything because I'm in a much better place now than I was and who knows how I'd be had I not burned the stuff. I say BURN AWAY!!!