That is not your fault at all, please stop blaming yourself for taking a risk and falling for someone. He abused that love by not being honest with you about any misgivings he may have had about the relationship. You should be mad at him for not letting you know his feelings were changing or he was confused....shame on him. You deserve honesty and love and luckily you found out now he can't communicate. You need a partner who will communicate openly and honestly, and now that he is gone dust yourself off and go find it with time.
Hugs

Thankyou so much i hear what your saying and know you are right but i dont know if i can be botherd anymore i cant take anymore heartbreak maybe im destined to live my life alone. thanks again.xx

It is brave to put yourself out there. Very brave. But take heart, it's only been a day. Maybe his head is mixed up and he just needs some time. Not sure what negative stuff he said, but back off for a while and wait to see what happens. (((Hugs)))

Totally understand where you are coming from!!!
Darling, life goes on...you are going to be ok this time too.
I know heartbreak is horrible, but if you didn't take that chance with this guy you wouldn't have had the wonderful memories of the great times you had together.
Even if this relationship doesn't work out, it is an experience and there will be more experiences good and bad.
Let the universe work its magic, if it is meant to be it will be.
Don't be sad. hugs

Thankyou all so much i cant believe how lovely everyone is on here. What he actually said was hes had word hes lost his job from tomorrow so he will have no van or car so he dosent know whats gonna happen and i took that as he conviniently means he wont be able to come see me any more.There is a lot more to it than that and i cant help be very insecure after the relationships ive had.up until yesterday evening he was texting me such sweet messages saying he loved and missed me etc. i just dont know what to think anymore.

Hi... I guess he just needs to hear from you that you love him too and that he first needs to realize if indeed he will loose his job, then work on finding another job and move on with his life.

My suggestion is to be strongly supportive of his insecure moment without making any additional type of move. Tell him he is smart and intelligent and he will be fine no matter what happens to him.

I don't know how long you have been involved with this person, but I am sure you are also very smart and intuitive to know what to do.

I don't know the pace at which you are moving in your relatonships, but there is a distinct possibility that you are moving too fast. Even if you feel that the speed is right, try slowing things down a bit.

hes taken his children out for the day and i havent heard a thing since i called him this morning oh and he said yesterday that his phones playing up and wont charge said it again this morning and told me dont panic if i dont hear from him but i cant help thinking this is just another excuse.

Nix, to me sounds like he still cares for you but really needs you to be supportive and understanding of his job situation. For a man, that is probably one of, if not the most devastating blow to his ego. His ability to earn a living helps one define who he is; don't try to change that, it won't work. Here's hoping things still work out, and don't be nervous about it. If he still is interested in you and you in him, it may yet work out fine

Yep I am here once again for very similar circumstance. I fell in love with someone was engaged to her, and in the end it wound up crumbling around my feet. She called off the wedding 2 months before, told me "we can never be friends because the feeling run to deep". I never thought I would be back on DS ever again after meeting her. She seemed like everything I was looking for in my life but I was proven wrong...so so wrong. I'm not sure what even happened in the end she stopped coming around my family, didn't want to go to any of my family things, started to hate my family, straight up lied to them...
The only thing I didn't like about her was the fact her mother was WAYYYYY to controlling. I tried to tell her how I felt even met with one of her friends and we all 3 talked about it. It seemed to get better for about 2 or 3 weeks but just went back to the same ole crap. She sat down and we tried to talk it all out but she told me that she didn't know how she felt about me anymore. At that point I knew it was over and why stay in a relationship with someone that tells you they don't know how they feel about you and they don't know if they love you anymore 2 months before the wedding....of which she called off. Just blows my mind even thinking about it I guess..
But try and stay strong. I know it's not as easy as it seems at times but try and focus on you and what you want now. And if ever you need to talk remember we are all here to listen.

Aww thankyou. Im just really having trouble with not hearing from him how can someone who says they love you and cant go an hour without contact just switch off? I know hes got lots on his mind and ive told him i will always be there for him but still havent haesrd a thing since early this morning.

Don't freak. He's got stuff on his mind. He could very well be evaluating the relationship. Either he's in or out. You do want a 100% team player don't you? That's the question, is he or isn't he in? How much is he in? Mutuality is of utmost importance. You can read all the grief here about selfish, scardy cats that bolt when the "c" word committment is out there. You could very well be at a turning point in this. I wouldn't chase him. You can offer him all the honesty and love you have. If he recognizes your worth so be it. If not? He's not worthy. Take it and learn what you may. You don't have to make the same mistakes over and over if you should get sad dissapointing news. Be strong. They don't call it a dating game for nothing. Learn the rules of ingagement. Avoid assumptions and projection. Ask questions! Get as much insider scoup from the other party that you possibly can. Don't picture yourself in that house until you're sure the house works on every level. It's about self preservation. It's okay to be precaucious, gaurded if you will. Not to be confused with walls. Then, if it's perfectly safe, move, enjoy and be blessed. It really does take alot for two lives to completely merge. Love is the key. Love yourself. Then you have more to give and able to recieve.

And hey, if it don't work...know that we are here for you to comfort, educate and hopefully soften the blow for you. That's what we do here.

thankyou this is why i love this site you are all so caring and im so sad today.

If you want some advice, here it is. He could very well be feeling smothered. From what you have said, you expect him to contact you every couple of hours. Many guys don't like that. A person who is insecure is not a turn on, and that may be how he sees you right now.

If you back off a bit I'm willing to bet that you will see a positive change in the way you communicate.

Good luck...

yes i think your right but it was him in the first place that said he can be a bit much and would text and ask if i was ok after not replying for 10 mins. I was trying to hold back because i didnt want to get hurt again then as soon as i let my deffences down i get hurt and im so tired of it time and time again im obviously doing something very wrong.