Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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shortnbald 08/21/2017

I don't know about many of you, but I am one messed up person. I don't think I will ever be the same or be able to love someone else again. Not that I don't want to. I am just stuck. The last thing I want to do is talk about it because that will mess me up for days just trying to get my feelings back under control. You know how I feel that is enough for me. I struggle with memories and the pain I must deal with just to get through the day.

But I miss having a voice in my life to listen to, a person to share life with. I can't seem and really don't want to go out alone, because it is so empty without someone to share that experience with, and I feel even more alone when I do. Often I think part of the meds I need is just to hold someone again. Even lately when I was in the hospital I savored each touch by each nurse.

I really can't go on a dating site because I am messed up and just might walk away at some point realizing I still love someone else who has been out of my life for years. Still I don't want to be alone. I am pretty good at faking normal with the people around me in my life but that doesn't work in a relationship.

Maybe you really don't want to share your story any more. For me that is just a constant pain I have to live with, but still being lonely is something feels horrible. Life is about distraction most of the time, but still connection is possible for any of us. In fact that is why each one of us is here... to connect to escape our solitude of misery even if it is to share the hell we each find ourselves living in. Most people here aren't going to try to cheer each other up, we accept we feel no real happiness in our laughter and no joy in our smile. Our life is defined by surviving one more day. All we can feel is our pain or the numbness of distraction. Yet connection can feel like the hug we need from time to time. I hope I can find that here.

PeteMason 08/21/2017

According to Whitney Houston the greatest love of all is of self, have you ever considered giving it a try? I did and, I've found it to be true, even if, face value, sadly she failed to.

HopelessInlove 08/21/2017

I know it feels horrible to feel so lonely. U must find strength. Believe in goodness. Make yourself happy in that direction. I sometimes bing eat, watch pono etc. These don't help AT ALL. They make you feel worse about yourself. Try to watch some silly stuff and laugh to lighten up. Dont be too serious to yourself. But that doesnt mean you should belittle yourself or do horrible things. Cheer up! When you feel better, take a walk.

Danceintherain 08/21/2017

I'm sorry you are feeling so down. Have you read the book "Learn to Love Yourself" by Gay Hendricks?

Escape 08/21/2017

Im sorry, i had to giggle at your first sentence. I have a strong feeling that everyone here is "messed up" in some way, or have been at some point. I know for sure i have been, and still are. Youre not alone!
As for the part of ever being the same again: you wont be, and thats not a bad thing! Take it one day at a time, get to know yourself again as a single person, youve only known yourself as a part of a couple for idk how long! Its ok to be freaked out! And... the fact that you WANT to love again means that you will be able to. Just take your time and dont rush things. You mentioned dating sites. The beauty of those sites is that some of them have a "just looking for friends" option. Try that. Get to know ppl as friends, man or woman, doesnt matter. Just get your toe wet on the site and if its too much, guess what. Your profile can be easily deleted. ;)

momonthego2019 08/21/2017

I don’t think you’re messed up because you want to be “connected” with someone. We are created to connect with one another, however a lot of times, relationships are often unbalanced. One person may be too needy in the relationship, both persons may have unattainable expectations of one another, one person may give too much of themself but not get the same response in return, etc. Before getting involved with someone again, take time loving yourself. It will be difficult for someone to love you, if you don’t love yourself. Think positively about yourself. Repeat positive affirmations throughout the day. Don’t be so needy for a relationship that it becomes your life line. The world is full of possible relationships. Relationships with family, friends, co-workers, neighbors, nursing homes, big brother/big sister organizations, etc. I truly believe that we attract what we put out and you may just be putting out negative vibes. Instead of focusing on what you don’t have, change your thinking and focus on what you do have. Do you have any dreams, goals, hobbies, etc? Pursue these things. The moment you stop thinking so much about having someone in your life to love and be loved by, you will be at peace, you will feel free and others will be attracted to you even more.

charleee1 08/22/2017

Everything you've said is me today. Thank you. I am with you in spirit.

shortnbald 08/24/2017

Thank you chaleee1. Many people are helped by this self love, but that really does not compute for me. I find no need to love myself. I don't hate myself but I think more about the type of life I want to live and that life includes someone else. I don't feel that I am needy but for me there is a need or desire within my soul to have a person to whom I am connected with. I feel a sense of oneness with that person and someone to share all the wonderful things in life with, and to have someone there to go through the hard times together supporting each other.

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