Glad you are starting therapy, that will help you a
lot And joining www.divorcecare.org group helped
Me Too. I cried for the first 4 months after he left.

I see where you are stuck in the same house, Is there
a third party involved? If there is, that Will Make it hard
to live together. My ex left to live At his mothers so he
could continue on his path And date his friend. I would
not allow dating Or going away While still married. TFB

It does get better the more you work on yourself And
there is light at the end of the tunnel. There Is one way
with grief and that is thru it to get to the Other side and
There are no quick, easy or simple solutions. Time takes
time.

With grief Feel it, face it, process it and eventually letting
go of All The uncomfortable feelings and emotions. During
grief You ride the emotional rollercoaster and that has a life
All of its own And it has its own timeline.

Hang in there you are not alone, i lived in overwhelm and
Overload until the divorce was final then the healing can
Start to begin after it is legally over, HUGS

You will be OK. It hurts worst in the beginning. You can't rebuild the relationship, but you can
rebuild yourself. Dedicate more time to getting in the best possible physical condition. The mental and emotional side will catch up afterwards.

SS, You are going to be okay. I repeat this all the time! But time and clarity are the key to feeling better. In the beginning, you are in shock and denial. As you move through the different phases, you will still be upset, but the emotion will feel differently. Anger is not a pleasant emotion, but it tells you that you're making progress.

Clarity usually arrives before time has finished helping you. Clarity helps you to gain perspective on your current life situation. It helps you to see your STBX for who they are. If they're a good person, but you're just not compatible, that's okay too. Clarity helps you to see that you're better off without your spouse.

But you will be okay and one day will appreciate this life experience, because it took you to the next chapter of your life. You will stumble at times, but you will survive and be proud of your wounds during this very challenging time of your life.

Hang in there! And, be good to yourself!

Thank you everyone

Thank you. I started counseling yesterday. I'm hoping it helps.

Everyone above has excellent advice. I still need to remind myself of it now and again. But it all does help and work. Even when at first it doesn't feel like it. At the beginning When my therapist would tell me how much I was doing, I would look at her with a question mark. ???? At the time I couldn't see or feel it. But I kept up with all the above tools, and I can now see a light out there. Working through the grief is right. I didn't understand what was meant by when I was told to really feel my feelings. I was crying all the time, angry and denial at others. I thought I was feeling my feelings pretty good. It wasn't until I went and house sat a friends house for a week. There was no one there but me. I had no responsibilities and no worries of someone being in the house with me. I didn't realize how much I actually held back due to that one thought. Let me tell ya, I let out a lot more feelings than I thought I had. And told myself I have every right to have each and every one of them. One of my first big stands for myself. "I have the right....started to turn into "I deserve!" I still have a long way to go, but I'm better than where I was. I'm glad your going to a councilor. I hope they help. Keep going you can make it through.
Hugs.

Thank you so much. You made so much sense thank you!!

So much at the beginning is sheer grief, anxiety,
Stress and depression, Its not a fun ride. Think of
Yourself like a widow and that will give you some
Compassion and understanding for yourself and
Whats happening. You will survive it and it will get
better Eventually. Just not as quickly as you Would
Hope for. Grief is linear and has no timeline.

The Triggers can be pretty intense too, You have to move
thru them and face them. They are feelings And emotions
That are triggered by a person, place or thing. I can get
Triggered by the weather or a location. Holidays are usually
Very unconscious triggers and are hard to stop. HUGS

I'm struggling badly

sorry to hear you're going thru this. it was pure hell. for a while. it takes time. eventually you'll cry less. hearing certain songs won't kill you any more. therapy helps. and, yes, viewing yourself as a widow helps too. because you're in mourning. because something did die. the grieving process is pretty much the same. hang in there. it just takes time ... and perseverance.

Yes we can all hear you and more important feel you. It's a feeling I know I never want to feel again. I say just keep letting it out. If you don't it will take longer. There are so many great pieces of advice that people give here. It really helps me to read them all. It's very healthy for you to reach out to them.

I totally understand! I was in the boat with you earlier today. Feeling unwanted, and unlovable. Coming here saved me from the pints of ice cream. My cure for when I just can't take this anymore. I felt so much better after. My husband's still a dick, but I felt better. Now trying not to get revved up again, cuz. I just lost all of what I typed to you just before I hit the send. Internet is being jerky. So big hug. Keep on keepin'on.

Yes. It really does help to come here. I came on earlier to save myself from going to the store and buying pints of ice cream . My cure all for when I feel horrible, I was feeling, stupid, like I didn't matter, unloved and unlovable. (Who could ever want to be with a person with mental problems like me?) I was sitting in a chair holding my head and rocking. I just wanted it all to stop. I couldn't shut my brain off. The ice cream (just 3miles away was calling to me) But my fat ass, as been telling me for the last week to knock it off, and reminds me I should be eating better. So I came here. And read typed, felt better. Husband is still an A hole, but I'm proud of myself for not going to get ice cream. I can totally understand the struggling badly. Can be very overwhelming at times. Lost and lonely. A huge pit you'll never get out of. nobody loves me, nobody wants me, I'm going to go eat worms" Total suck days. And silly us we thought we were moving past all the real hard stuff. Nope. It will keep coming on and off until we've reconciled with it. So keep coming back here. Keep up with all the good advice stuff.
And the light will shine again . Big hug. If this sends, it was supposed to go in the first place.