Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

13,009 Members
100,360 Posts
0 Online
Relationships & Sexuality
/ Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Buying out the ex

rose77
rose77
I am in NY. I am thinking of buying out my ex instead of selling the house. In the divorce I was able to live there with my two kids until the younger one turned 21 which he just did. Since I had occupancy I had to pay the mortgage, but once the house is sold he gets half. Now what I want to know is if I buy him out what has to be done. Do I have to pay him half of what the house would be sold for or half of what is left of the loan at this point. I am really clueless on this and since I got screwed so bad in the divorce I don't want that to happen again. Can anyone help me with this?
charliegirl29
charliegirl29
I would say it depends on what is in writing and if you can change it.
charliegirl29
charliegirl29
And your best bet to get a better answer is a real estate agent or attorney
deleted_user
deleted_user
to get an accurate answer, take your divorce decree with you to an appointment with a real estate attorney. he or she would probably give you an initial consultattion for free.

your husband will get half of whatever the house sells for after paying off the present mortgage and related expenses. it will be necessary to get an accurate third party appraisal from a professional.

the present mortgage will have to be paid off so that a new mortgage can be drafted up in your name only. if possible, get your mortgage financed through a credit union for the best deal.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Here's what I did.

She refi'd the house to get my name off of it. She passed on the portion of my pension and 401K that she was due in trade for what I was due for half of the house. It worked out great for her, and great for me.
Misred
Misred
You will need to get an appraisal (or two) of what the house is worth. I agree with vern except if the realtor knows you are not selling, he/she won't be motivated to do the estimate. You are using their time and expertise which is worth something. Don't settle for someone not coming and actually looking at the house. If there are major repairs needed then the value won't be as high. My EX told the realtor he was considering selling because we were going through divorce. The agreement was made if we sold, we would use that realtor.
deleted_user
deleted_user
choosing an appraiser who is accurate will not be easy. choose one very carefully. do not rely on a guess from a realtor. choose a professional appraiser who understands the true value of housing now in 2013.

home values have really changed since 2008. a lot of appraisers probably have scrambled to understand the dynamics of change.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I live in NY as well. The first step is to get the house appraised by an appraiser, which may or not be a realtor as well. You ex will be due 1/2 the appraised value of the house, after whatever is left on the loan is deducted from the appraised value: $150,000 - loan amount balance (say, $50,000) - $100,000, divided by 2 equals his share. It is a common thing to buy out the spouse, but make sure you get an attorney to handle it for you. Well worth the money.
deleted_user
deleted_user
My X just signed the deed over to me. And we decided to just not take anything from each others' retirements/401k's because we both work, so it's all good.
lance139169
lance139169
The difference between what your house is worth, and what you still owe on all mortgages is considered the "equity". Generally speaking, to buy your husband out you will need to pay him 1/2 of the equity and assume the mortgage(s). This will require you to also refinance the mortgage(s) in your name only.

Often times, the person who is trying to keep the house has a problem qualifying for a mortgage on their own, which leaves the only alternative being a sale of the house and a split of the equity at closing.

Best of luck.