Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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Broken and rejected...technically dumped

Kim-Willemse
Kim-Willemse

Hi, I was dating "Dan" for almost 3 years. I lost myself in the relationship. I compromised all my values to accommodate him. He started calling me names, he hit me twice in one occasion. Whenever I tried to leave him he would beg me to stay with him and be really nice for a short while. He would also threaten to make me lose my job if I ever left him or post my nudes on social media. I stayed with him and let him treat me like trash. Recently I found out that he has been cheating since we started dating and had been dating another girl (exclusively) for a year. She snooped and found my number called me and told me that he told her I was obsessive and tried to keep him faking a pregnancy. Worstly. When she put him on a 3 way call with me to get the truth he screamed at me and told her I am a crazy bitch and I'm lying. He was with me a few weeks ago. We were making love and making future plans together. I've blocked him and maintained no contact with him for about 5 days now. I just don't know where to go from here. Can someone please guide me?

OLDBIKER
OLDBIKER
Wake up girl. He is using you. If he has been dating this other girl for a year, you've been dating for 3 yrs., he hits you, calls you names and treats you like trash, why would you want anything to do with him. Where is your self respect?. You don't deserve being treated this way!!!!! As far as him threatening to post your nudes on social network, there are laws against that and ask him if he'd like to spend some time in jail. I would beat him to the punch and inform my employer of his threats of him "causing to lose your job". A good Offense is better than a good defense in some cases. If he hits you again, that's grounds for a jail visit too. No woman should be a punching bag for any man. Just my thoughts. The real decision is yours. Do you want to live like this and be treated like this? If not, it's time to make a change.
Kim-Willemse
Kim-Willemse
Thank you so much. I really needed to hear that
OLDBIKER
OLDBIKER
You are welcome and I am here if I can be of further help.
TryingtoLiveAgain
TryingtoLiveAgain
You deserve so much better than this. You are not there to be a punching bag, physically or verbally. Sounds like you made the right decision. Hang in there and give yourself time to heal from being treated like this. And if he tries this again, i would say a call to the police is in order.
Kim-Willemse
Kim-Willemse
So this other "gf" dm'd (texted) me on social media and I couldn't help but go through her profile. I mean what is so awesome about her that he had to break me so he can be happy with her. We are in similar career fields although she comes from a rich family and I from a struggling background...even though I'm really working hard to make a future for myself. She has the best apartment etc. I kept seeing her posting about him and I keep thinking about all the times he lied saying he was going somewhere. I can't help but try and connect the dots. Everyday I wake up I'm trying to connect them...and I always find a reason to be angry. How do I keep myself from trying to do do that? How do I keep myself from feeling so stupid and worthless?
SuZQ
SuZQ
I am so sorry you are going through this. As women, we deserve to be treated with respect, and if we are not, then it is wise to walk away. When we do that, we still grieve the loss of what we believed could have been. But, searching for healthy alternatives is wise.

What do you believe you should do to stay healthy? For me, I had to change my activities and thinking. Exercise, Bible studies, dinner with girlfriends, working harder at my job, counseling, and talking to my family and friends all helped. Praying for you to find healthy activities to keep your thinking positive and knowing that you deserve to be respected and loved. Hugs to you!
jojored
jojored
Don't think too much about her, about what might be "better" about her which led him to he.
It's an exercise in futility,. Remember, she'll be on the receiving end of physical and emotional abuse too, if she isn't already. Leopards don't change their spots.
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