About 2 weeks ago, I broke up with my boyfriend of 3.5 years after months of being unhappy.  The thing is, is that I still love him and feel like I'm litterally dying inside.  Unfortunately, he was not a fit for me and my children from last relationship.  I felt that I was mostly raising him than actually being in a relationship.  Out of all the years he had been with me, he paid me rent one time.  Occasionally he would give me a little money or buy me lunch or dinner but it was definately not often at all.  He had jobs off and on and mostly made excuses why he didn't want to go to work.  He would stay home and smoke his weed and drink his beer while playing video games.  This while I was taking care of the kids, cleaning and grocery shopping.  He would only help when he wanted to, not when things needed to be done so I wound up doing everything myself.  He never wanted to do things with me except watch movies all day and would give me attention while on his way to smoke his weed or his way to the kitchen.  The other issue was his weed use in the house.  Now Im not against weed but I am against it around my children.  He'd smoke it in the bathroom but my kids could still smell it.  We had plenty of arguments over the weed that never seemed to get resolved.  He also spent most of his money on weed instead of contributing to the household.  He also had an alcohol problem and would come home drunk in the middle of the night which woke me and sometimes the kids up.  

This all got too much to handle.  I wanted to feel loved and cared for.  I wanted a future with him but the only future I saw was the one we had and I was so unhappy.  So I decided to tell him to move out and it ended our relationship.  The crazy thing is, is that I miss him and regret my decision. I know I did the right thing but I cant stop thinking if I just overreacted or if I should of gave him more time to change.  Now he's gone for good and Im stuck here feeling miserable.