Oh yes. I was able to keep mine in check somehow for the last few weeks by talking myself through every day, taking the dog on brisk walks to burn off the energy, and by coming here and venting.

Until yesterday.. I kind of lost it when I found out he\'s been having an affair.. and did say and do some mean things. Sometimes it just comes out of you! The anger stage was short lived though and now I\'m just devastated and lost.

Getting past it is the hard part. Probably something only time can mend. Rebuilding trust means you have to let go of the anger though. Good luck.

Sometimes the greatest anger is really at ourselves; for picking someone so insensitive and self-centered; for pretending things were okay; for not listening to our gut; for overlooking the little lies; for refusing to see the truth; Once we understand we were in love with someone who really didn\'t exist and we forgive ourself - it does get easier.
Stay Strong, God Bless

Thank you for your comments.

Mushroom - I hope you are right that this is short-lived.

PF - You are so right. I keep looking back and wondering what I was thinking.

PF - It took me much too long, 2 affairs and counseling to come to the advice and perspective you provided. So well shared. The ideal that we continued to believe was possible -- versus the reality of the self-serving person we married is a tough cookie to handle. To us all in this journey - strength.

What I have found helpful is taking a picture of him and yelling at it as if it were him (either that or throw darts at it.....lol) Or I would write him a letter telling him exactly how I feel, then burn it.

My anger stages are short lived, but I have many of them (which really stinks) I just try to think about the positive things in my life and the things I have to look forward to.

I got angry once at the beginning of the ordeal. I mean violently angry. The nonsense I was exposed to got the better of me. I was at the desktop making my reservation to leave the country and he was trying to explain why I did not have a home or a family anymore, why I had to leave my cats behind. Why he did not owe me anything after nearly 20 years of marriage. Why he always thought something like that (affair and so forth) would happen. He wanted something else but did not know what... I got up to grab my screen, caught myself (he is not worth it Noor) and slammed the palms of my hands on the desk. I must have looked mean because he stepped back. My hands were bruised for several days after that. I don\'t remember the flight out the country after that. It took me months to get angry about the situation after that event. I di dnot allow myself to go there because I was afraid it would interfere with healing. I was wrong.