After my split i deactivated my account and it's still dormant after 18 months. Don't miss it at all quite frankly it's usually all fake bullshit anyways. But I didn't want to see anything that may set me back so that's that.

My husband doesn't have a facebook and I am thankful for that , but I do have a facebook , we don't have mutual friends, but I notice I can't go through the newsfeed anymore. I realize that a lot of it is just not helpful to me during this difficult time. Your right to protect your emotions, that is what I am trying to do as well, there is only so much energy i have with this despair and sadness a day , anything that will make me feel worst I avoid greatly . I don't go on the facebook news feed, I don't listen to the radio . And I agree with kbbcoop77 , it's a bunch of bs, stuff people want to put out there , not a real connection to anyone . There is a private page with 5 girlfriend I go straight to for support , other then that no.

Do what you need to do to protect your recovery. Absolutely stay away from FB for a while.

For months, I needed to avoid FB as seeing certain posts did hit me hard or set me back. Finally, over the past two months, I've turned that corner where I just don't care anymore - don't care who she's with or what she does. So, I'm back on FB as it does help me keep in touch with many friends who have spread out all over the world. But, it took many months to get here.

When you get to the point where the Ex posts pictures about the NewGuy/NewGirl, and they make their way to you through some friend commenting on them, and you yawn and scroll on, you'll know you are on the other side of the recovery hill. If you don't think you can do that yet, then don't even log on.

I have deactivated/reactivated my FB account more than I care to remember. I couldn't keep off his FB page and would search his friends looking for photos, clues, etc. It turned into an obsession. I would deactivate then would feel so lonely not being in touch with my friends that I would reactivate and the cycle would continue. At this point, I'm back on FB and have blocked him and anyone I can think of that is connected to him. I've just felt so isolated from my friends when I haven't been on that I always go back.

I'm the same about facebook. I deactivated for fear of seeing something I didn't want to see. My ex does not have a facebook page but I recently found out the new girlfriend does and post pics of them. I don't know the new girl and don't want to know. Someone we know in common told me about it. I prefer not to know any of these things so now I let people know upfront not to tell me anything they know, seen or heard about my ex.
I tip toe back and forth on facebook but I tend to stay away from newsfeed and I unfollowed his family members to avoid seeing anything. But overall I stay off because I am not ready to see something and it not hurt me.
I agree, stay away until you can handle seeing something you may not care for.

Social media can be terrible. If the path to healing is "no contact", social media is the worse of all contact. It is ubiquitous and. So so shallow. So easy to torture oneself imaging what is happening behind those pictures. I never used fb much before my. separation, just once in a while to keep in touch with distant family. But, actually, it has become much more important to me now, connects me to friends when I don't have the energy to reach out.

And, will admit, I feel gratitude to fb. Three times it exposed my ex's lies in such a blunt way it helped me move on.

What you said really hit me, "His actions do not define me, our past does not define me". That is a healthy way at looking at the situation, and you are right.

I need to think like that and take that advice in my situation. You are right about Facebook. Even though I don't really participate on Facebook much, only really to keep in touch with a few people, but really don't talk to much. I just deactivated my account for the time being because I don't want to see who he (soon-to-be-ex) is dating and what he's up to. It just breaks my heart to have to see that.

It can't be a coincidence that I saw your post right now when I needed it. I made a big mistake. I was looking through my bookmarks and saw where I had bookmarked her FB page. I'm not one for FB but I had made a page when we got together because she was on it. When she started cheating she blocked me. That should of been a big red flag but anyway... What I saw just a few minutes ago hurt so much. It's really wasn't stuff about her and the guy she latched on to (they went camping, so what) but it was what else she put. It was posts about how moving on doesn't make her selfish and how great she would treat someone else since she treated someone who treated her crappy so well. I know it's pointed at me. How can she act like I did something to her? She acts like I dumped her for no reason. Keep in mind she told me her only regrets was not dumping me and making me hurt more. She cheated on me for months and treated me like dirt. She spent our last anniversary with that girl! Then she told me it was my fault because we hadn't gotten married... she was the one to call it off! I learned she is great at getting people to side with her and playing the victim, so of course she is still making me to be a monster. Then she posted a quote listing stuff that if your guy does then he is perfect... and it's all things I did for her or with her... but when I did little things like kiss her on the forehead (one thing on that list) she didn't care. All of this just hurt so much to see. Why does she get to be the victim? Why does she get to be happy and have someone? I wished I never would of seen that.... But I agree with deadaeh about what you wrote. "Our past does not define me." Reading that really helped. I calmed down and can breathe. I need to remember that I don't care what she does or thinks.... I should just get back to my latest drawing. Thank you for the words of wisdom!