Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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Been a long time...Finalizing in morning

detroitfan
detroitfan
Hi,

I posted here a loooong time ago about how my husband left, didn't want to work on marriage, just fell "out of love." I was desperate to try and save my family. We have two kids ages 11 and 9 and they are very unhappy with the separation.

Well anyway he is getting his divorce we have been married for 16 years and it will be signed tomorrow. I just can't stop wishing he cared enough to try and I feel like a loser for still caring. It has been 2 years of this separation and I know I need to move on. I just don't think I can.

Anyone have any tips on how to heal when despite this ordeal and all this rejection I still care and really think I still love him? I know I can't make him love me and he is living the dream I guess with his old buddy from high school. Doing whatever he wants.

Thanks for letting me vent. I am a mess today.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I am sorry. Its 19 years for me and I've told her straight to her face that if she wanted to come back I would welcome her. Time doesn't necessarily erase love. I've said many times that I don't "fall out of love" like she did with me. I don't even know how one can do it. But I am not her just as you are not your ex. We can't force them to fall back in love or even understand how and why they came to feel they way they do. All I can do is to keep trying to move forward. Some days I do great and others... not so good. Honestly, I don't think I'll ever "get over" her. Not sure that I would want to. I may love again, but it will be different.

Good luck to you. You have my support if nothing else!
deleted_user
deleted_user
I think you have to reach a point where you realize they don't want you. If it had been so great, they wouldn't have divorced, and it's easy to fantasize in your mind about you thinking they may still have feelings for you or you think they still love you, but it's not the reality.

The reality is that it's over and it's time for you to progress in your own life and start that brand new time for yourself and much more important when you have children. You want to show them that when faced with important incidents that happen in life, that they can get through them, just like Mom, and come out on the other side starting a brand new life. Your kids watch you to learn from you. You are their life model. Show them they shouldn't pine their life away on someone who doesn't love them.

Many hugs. .