Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Divorce is supposed to be final on April 6th and now he's telling me he's going to file bankruptcy as he can't pay the one loan bill I left him. I know he's having a hard time - he lost his job after we separated but he has been working here and there. Living with his family so he's got no other bills. He told me they won't even let him buy groceries.
I'm paying rent and all the utilities for our daughter and myself. I'm also paying for the utilities for our house that he left when he lost his job and "had" to move away. (the realtor recommended leaving them on as we have a pool that self cleans). I paid for his truck insurance yet again this month as he "can't get around to switching" (told him this was the last month - the divorce will be final before the next payment is due). I'm paying my car payment and the credit card payment that I agreed to take. I'm paying for our daughter to go to a psychiatrist for her anxiety problems, as well as the doctor and dentist. I'm the one paying to feed her - all on 80% of my wages as I had my hours cut back in December. We're lucky if we can rent movies a couple times a month!
I haven't tried to get any child support out of him yet as I know he's struggling, but dammit so am I!! He can't pay his one bill and now is going to file bankruptcy, which forces me to do so as well as they will come after me now for payment and I cannot stretch my money any further than it already is.
Credit hell - here I come AAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks for letting me vent - I feel a tiny bit better now. Anyone have any suggestions or advice on bankruptcy?
I'm paying rent and all the utilities for our daughter and myself. I'm also paying for the utilities for our house that he left when he lost his job and "had" to move away. (the realtor recommended leaving them on as we have a pool that self cleans). I paid for his truck insurance yet again this month as he "can't get around to switching" (told him this was the last month - the divorce will be final before the next payment is due). I'm paying my car payment and the credit card payment that I agreed to take. I'm paying for our daughter to go to a psychiatrist for her anxiety problems, as well as the doctor and dentist. I'm the one paying to feed her - all on 80% of my wages as I had my hours cut back in December. We're lucky if we can rent movies a couple times a month!
I haven't tried to get any child support out of him yet as I know he's struggling, but dammit so am I!! He can't pay his one bill and now is going to file bankruptcy, which forces me to do so as well as they will come after me now for payment and I cannot stretch my money any further than it already is.
Credit hell - here I come AAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks for letting me vent - I feel a tiny bit better now. Anyone have any suggestions or advice on bankruptcy?
I think he should give you money. You should stop paying his share of bills right now.
If that loan is a joint obligation, he has really put you in a tough spot. Even if it is assigned to him in the divorce, that is an agreement between you two and the original creditor note is still valid. You can take the Decree to the creditor and show that it is court ordered that he pay it. They may honor that but my experience has been more often they don't.
Bankruptcy (unfortunately) was a godsend for me when I had to file. It is not always that way. If your credit is not too far gone, you may consider consumer credit counseling. If there is no other choice, get a good bankruptcy attorney and start collecting all the information regarding your debt now. Anything you leave out is not covered and it is important you cover everything since all creditors need to be treated equally once you file. Best of luck!
Taffy - I was under the impression that I cannot cancel his insurance until the divorce is finalized - is that only for health insurance?
I've left the utilities on for the pool. If I drain it, then you run the risk of having it crack and that's way worse than paying the utility bills - I'm just trying to do the best thing. I really hoped the house would sell quickly as we're asking below market value but with this market and the huge number of homes for sale we just aren't having much luck.
My credit right now is fair - the house is probably going into foreclosure as my stbx chose to stay there with a roommate as it's close to his work and so I moved out and settled our daughter and myself in an apartment. Then he lost his job and decided he just couldn't stay any more and left it empty. I can barely afford my rent, let alone the house payment. But I think I'm too far past credit counseling. His bill is in both our names (as is the credit card bill that I'm paying) so I guess I'll have to go through with the bankruptcy and start over from there.
At least after that I won't have any of my debt responsibilities intertwined with his name any longer. (hopefully I can keep the car and that loan with me - I'm paying it now anyway and I need my car!)
My old man left me six week,s before christmas telling me he loved me but wasen,t in love with me?? he,d actually been e-mailing some old tart and he,d arranged for her to come over to live with him,throughout our marriage he was very tightfisted with his money,he used to give me 100.00 per month,whilst he thought nothing of spending 50 per night on booze and betting! he was a control freak and in truth i got myself into debt because of his reluctance to give me anymore money for clothes etc,to cut a long story short,he has now lost his job and has been made redundant,also his whore has now gone cuz as my old man said she,s too firey!!! because of him i too am having to declare bankrupcy because i incurred debt through cataloughs i.e buying clothes for him and me,thankfully our son is 20yr well the thing is,why do we have to go through all this crap? my old man used to be n the army he get,s one pension of 900.00 per month then a futher 180.00 and he has stock,s and shares and he has money stashed away,yet i,m expected to like yourself, pay all the bill,s and try to manage with the pittance i,ve got left,i am the one who is trying to move on with my life yet he has his own flat with not a care in the world yet i,m worrying when the next bill is gonna come through the door,and the heavy burden of bankrupsy,i wish i could help you, all i,d say is keep a look out on your ex the reason i say that is because when you are declared bankrupt you have to show the recievers that you are not going to incur anymore debt,i have been warned by my solicitor that although you can declare yourself bankrupt you can set up new account,s in different names,so if he does go down that road you can report him, he will have no choice but to hand over all money he has,i wish you well and i hope the sod give,s you something to help you out.take care shaz x
My old man left me six week,s before christmas telling me he loved me but wasen,t in love with me?? he,d actually been e-mailing some old tart and he,d arranged for her to come over to live with him,throughout our marriage he was very tightfisted with his money,he used to give me 100.00 per month,whilst he thought nothing of spending 50 per night on booze and betting! he was a control freak and in truth i got myself into debt because of his reluctance to give me anymore money for clothes etc,to cut a long story short,he has now lost his job and has been made redundant,also his whore has now gone cuz as my old man said she,s too firey!!! because of him i too am having to declare bankrupcy because i incurred debt through cataloughs i.e buying clothes for him and me,thankfully our son is 20yr well the thing is,why do we have to go through all this crap? my old man used to be n the army he get,s one pension of 900.00 per month then a futher 180.00 and he has stock,s and shares and he has money stashed away,yet i,m expected to like yourself, pay all the bill,s and try to manage with the pittance i,ve got left,i am the one who is trying to move on with my life yet he has his own flat with not a care in the world yet i,m worrying when the next bill is gonna come through the door,and the heavy burden of bankrupsy,i wish i could help you, all i,d say is keep a look out on your ex the reason i say that is because when you are declared bankrupt you have to show the recievers that you are not going to incur anymore debt,i have been warned by my solicitor that although you can declare yourself bankrupt you can set up new account,s in different names,so if he does go down that road you can report him, he will have no choice but to hand over all money he has,i wish you well and i hope the sod give,s you something to help you out.take care shaz x