I feel a lot better... the first month was absolutely horrible my husband told me he no longer loved me after 12 years of marriage 20 years together I was scared and sick every minute of every day ... I saw my doctor for depression meds which I'm sure helped but mostly just realizing you can't be happy with someone that is not happy themselves and that I will be fine on my own and I should be excited for my future really helped... you just have to make it happen for yourself looking back on my situation it really wasn't what I wanted for myself but I was comfortable and it had become a habit to be with and relying on someone else I do still love him very much but you only live once ... I think my situation had a very quick turnaround time and I really don't know why but the same eventually happens for everyone

I think a lot depends on the circumstances of your breakup. My STBX was cheating on me for at least 12 years. Once the shock, and fear started to subside, I could take a clearer look at the relationship. Why would I want to be with a man who thinks it ok to withhold, lie, cheat and deceive? I am full of regrets, but am moving on. I deserve better. My life is already better without the continual stress of dealing with his controlling behavior.

It helps that I'm seeing a man who is tender, kind, attentive and understands what I'm going through.

The best thing to keep in mind is that no matter how much you are hurting the pain eventually eases. Keep in mind you will heal from all of this because no matter how we try we can not die from a broken heart. The good news is all of the hurt he has caused you will heal and he won't be able to cause you anymore. Take care.

Hello. I can't sleep I have a TON of backed up work and my daughter has a bunch of exams so I spent the whole afternoon helping her study.
I came on here to rest my mind a little and saw your post.... I am completely on the other side. If you get a chance read my posts and comments on other people's posts. The other side is so invisible when you are in that dark hole, that it seems unexistent. It is there though. And it is wonderful. The reason it is so wonderful is because when you come out of that cave of despair and depression you come out stronger than ever. I must admit I am a little more calculating and colder than I used to be but I guess it comes with this new thicker skin. But I can say and glad to say I AM HAPPY. I am happy with ME not on account of anyone or a job or anything outside of me. I am happy because I choose to be happy. That is it. And no one can take that happiness away from me. Trust me my ex tried for a while and failed. It feels so good to feel good about you. Look at yourself in the mirror and smile genuinely after looking into the mirror for a year and only see a ghost of who you are looking back at you with red eyes from crying so so much.
It all begins with a CHOICE. then it snowballs from there.
Read some of what I have written in the past. It might help you.
Best of luck my friend. I wish you all the best.

Well said lonelywolf79

That is exactly how I'm feeling ChelseaLeigh if I know when the feeling will end up can endure it. Don't dig any further on the information front...it only hurts you. Trust me.

It's been 7 years for me. The first year sucked. The second year sucked a lot less. It took a lot of time. More than I expected. However, I feel a lot better where I am now in life than I did at the end of my marriage.

Time gives you some perspective on it that is hard to see when you're living it day to day.

Take the time to learn how to be happy living single, without a relationship. Find things you like to do, new things or things you gave up when you were married. Find your own happiness, and not be dependent on your relationship to make you happy. It makes it much easier to evaluate potential dates when you're ready. Think of it like not shopping for food when you're starving.

I feel that each day is getting a little easier. The good memories still haunt me and cause me to get sad, but I assume that's normal. It just shows me that I really did appreciate the time I spent with my ex. I still think about her daily but I also have found motivation to live life now. I'm started to focus on myself and find pleasure in things that I do. I'm hoping the path keeps moving forward.

I was divorced 5 years ago and maybe bc it was my leaving him it wasn't like this one. The deception and cruelty that this man put me through has made me angry and vengeful like nothing I have seen before. It's not my personality at all. I just don't know how to talk myself through this right now. I had an enormous melt down last night...I am doing better today. Thank you everyone. I feel a little old to be going through this... but here I am.

I am 60 this year not the place i wanted to be
At. Its what happened though and many days
I feel blessed to be away from him and how bad
Things got between us.

My biggest struggle is to really let It all go and
be done emotionally with him forever. The bad
keeps swirling around and its not settled yet inside
of me. Mainly because of all the good years, my
reality has ongoing problems coping/facing all
the bad. HUGS

Thank you mirandac...hugs to you

Thanks for the hugs it helps, i find i just
Needed to get more into me and my Own
healing and Keep working on my recovery
as much As i possibly can.

I was also told i would heal when i loved
Myself more than i loved him. Thats a work
In progress, HUGS

So sorry you're feeling this way and I do understand it.
I'm better and very thankful for how I feel now.
You need to discover what works for you. I know for me I needed to get moving (walking, running, picking up my camera, fresh air)
Keeping my mind busy (reading my bible)
Not isolating myself.
If you need someone to talk with just let me know.
Blessings