Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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Any one else feel this?? When does it stop

tattoosnbutterflies
tattoosnbutterflies
I have such low moments sometimes. I feel like after a few days of him being gone out of sight and no nasty messages that I could make it work someday. Then my smart side wakes up and I read my journal entries of how bad if really was or the texts he sends. I wonder if I have something protecting my mind from the years of what really went on. My question I guess is if anyone else ever feels this? It's not that I want to go back with him. I just enjoy the familiar feeling of him sometimes when he is being nice. Which never lasts long!!. I am just so secluded from all the lies he has spread all over our small town about me I just stay at home and go to work. I guess I just want to know how long this phase will last?
jaclyn1973
jaclyn1973
what you are feeling is normal, but I have no idea how long this phase lasts. It's probably not exactly the same for everyone.
stillbitterjaded
stillbitterjaded
The famous line is a roller coaster of emotions.

I prefer a carnival ride on acid because the feelings are just so....immediate and intense. I don't think they ever truly go away, but become fewer and building coping skills makes them more manageable so you can blow them off.
milliejay
milliejay
Not sure about all the details of your situation - though there isn't a perfect answer for "how long" - there are steps you can take - STOP CONTACT. If you have children, I understand that you may not be entirely able - if that's not your case - I can't stress it enough STOP CONTACT. No, it won't make you feel better overnight but it will allow you to find your peace, become stronger and sort out all those emotions that keep you going back and forth.
Somerdad34
Somerdad34
Its very hard to control emotions. You just have to ride it out. It is hard to control your emotions, I am proof of that.
Also, you are still grieving, you have to go through the process.

I miss my wife. I miss how she feels in my arms, her kiss, I miss my partner.

The best advice I got here is to learn how to be alone and enjoy it.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Hmm... I wouldn't say it stops right then and there. For me, I think it's a gradual process. So it's safe to say that in my experience, it is "greatly minimized" when I make a firm decision to move on with my life, avoid contact at all cost, and doing other things to get busy.
dsb188
dsb188
You need to live you life. I've had a spouse of mine tell his friends and parents all sorts of nasty things about me. When the smoke cleared they realized who I was and who he was but at the end of the day even if they didn't and thought I was a jerk too bad.

I have gone back and fourth about being with someone. I realize its okay to have a fond memory of them but I always keep what they did to me in the forefront. Sometimes you have to in order to protect yourself. My ex reached out to me several times and i blocked his text and blocked him on facebook.

You have to step out and do your thing. Justice and whats right will always prevail.
tattoosnbutterflies
tattoosnbutterflies
Thank you all. It helps me to know I am not losing my mind. It is hard right now to have a no contact boundary. One of my goals is to work out this with visitations and to keep myself away from the drama.