So quick recap my ex and I dated for 4 years and have been broken up for 6months.

we didn’t speak for a good month but because we had to sort out what to do with our unit and also plan a trip to Japan we had both booked for a friends birthday, we had to speak quite regularly after that month. Speaking between then and the trip was fine, it’s was friendly and she’d ask me a lot of questions. She even invited me to her housewarming because she wanted me to see where she lived (I don’t understand why??)

The trip to Japan it’s self was awesome, we got on really well for the two weeks. Especially the first week when it was just us two. At one point we  both expressed that we were finding finding it hard being around each other but not together as a couple. 

Unfortunately on the last night of the trip we both got very drunk and that resulted in a fight. She was egging me on, like she wanted to have an argument even though I was trying to go to bed. Eventually I got frustrated and bit back. During the fight I called her out on how she needed to stop the touchy flirting and treat me like a proper friend. I also said she needed to stop discussing the break up with our mutual friends because they all know more about why we broke up than I do and they keep repeating to me what she has said or saying cryptic things that they shouldn’t be.

  It felt like we had broken up all over again. I apologised briefly the next day befor we flew home and everything seemed fine.

A week later after we’d had some space, I sent her a proper message apologising to her for my part in the argument and said I would understand though if she didn’t want to be friends.

she replied and thanked me for the apology and said she really did want to be friends. She usually doesn’t say things unless she means them. 

Since then though I have not heard a word from her, and I don’t know whether it is a good idea to message her or not. We have a music festival this weekend we are going to with mutual friends and I don’t know how to approach the situation. Ideally I know I should just treat her like a friend but I also don’t want her to think I’m trying to get her to take me back because I don’t want that. 

To make matters even more confusing throughout the trip she would always ask me questions about the new people I am friends with and how I met  them etc (I am a lesbian and all my new friends are female), which I felt was her indirectly trying to suss out if I am dating (I am sort of). 

She would also make remarks about how she thinks I will have a new girlfriend by the end of the year which I think is such a weird comment to make, given she said she doesn’t want to be with me/she doesn’t care. 

In short it’s like one minute she is fine with me and the next she is either being cold or behaving in a way she knows will annoy me.

How she acts doesn’t stop me from moving on or from enjoying the things we are both at....I’m just curious as to why she would act in such a way when she dumped me and doesn’t act like she cares about the break up.

any ideas?