If your instincts are telling you that you need to do something like this, the odds are that this is not a relationship that you should be in. When love is solid, it FEELS solid.

Very true, but that being said, my exH did it to me and contiunally lied. I'm not sure if it's me reading into things and being crazy or if there is something warranted.

If there really is nothing going on, and it is you 'reading into things and being crazy,' then perhaps you are still not ready for a relationship at this time. Don't settle for living any part of your life as a detective. In my opinion, I think that you need more alone time.

i agree. i could not be in a relationship with a woman if i did not fully trust her. no one is worth the uneasiness.

my x cheated on me, and was/is addicted to pain pills, she was an excellent lier, we divorced and remarried about a year and a half later (long story), I had trouble trusting her, and she did little to make me trust, so.... no need for a PI

Radio shack... digital voice recorder about $40 that can be set to turn on or off when noise is detected, battery lasts about 2 days that way, slip it under his car seat and see who he talks to when he is driving and thinks he is alone, or leave it under the couch when you leave him at home alone. It can be set to show date and time of recordings, so if he says he worked late, but you hear radio music or cell conversations with a time that doesn't track with that...

Check the milage on his car, check it against where he normally goes with his daily routine, if a lot of extra miles pop up...

Get his cell phone at night, get on line and setup an account with the cell carrier if not done already, it will text a temp password to the phone, use it, delete it, you can check the bill, or you can have a paper bill sent to a P.O. Box that you can get without him seeing.

Digital spy/game cameras, Walmart, about $100 for a nice one, set it up looking at your driveway from the side yard, it will take pics with time/date stamps of whatever comes in and out vehicle wise.

HOWEVER, doing all of this will make you obsessed and sick, if you can't trust him, you will be happier without him and without trying to constantly catch him at something. I know this for a fact.

Is this in regards to your ExH or someone new? Either way you will just make your self craszy trying to catch them. Why bother, putting yourself through all that.

My husband cheated on me years ago before we were even married. Since then, every few years he gets itchy or whatever and calls women he has met or sex messages them.. (He travels for his work so is gone Monday - thursday every week) He gets lonely in his idle time when out of town and I am not always around because we have a 7 year old that is in a lot of activities. not an excuse for my husband to mess around I know.. Anyway, he has never actually had sex with another woman, but he does these other things that in my mind crosses the line. We are now headed for a divorce. He thinks I am a crazy person because I am always suspicious of him and in his mind hasn't done anything wrong. and I feel like I am a crazy person, because when he is out of town, my mind is always thinking about what he is doing. I have wasted so much energy on trying to "bust him" I am like Candace on Phineous and Ferb! Anyway, my point is... You have a right to know if someone is being unfaithful to your relationship but unfortunately most people cheating won't be respectful enough to be honest with you. You have to do what you have to do.. just don't get crazy about it like I did and still do. I have turned this into a hobby of sorts and it is not heathly.

New grooming habits are often a clue.....

Attentive to hair cuts
Buying new clothes and cologne
Noticeable increase or decrease in sexual interest

The voice activated recorder is how I learned of the affair.

No it's not someone I live with...I remember doing all this crazy stuff too, with my exH and I was right in my gut. This is someone new, and no there is no grooming or taking care of one's self, like you would think. He's always on the phone, and often will show me his phone texts, but he owns a boat, and the pier he keeps it on, how shall I say, reminds me of Girls Gone Wild on the weekends. Up until about a month ago, I wouldn't have given it a thought, but I have my little kids every other weekend, so he was partying it up with some friends of his...girls and guys.

There is this other person next to us with a boat and she was a little too handsy on the weekend. She was kind of out of her mind and had been drinking a lot and is in LOVE with her room mate who has a girlfriend, but apparently she was/is a FWB. That being said, he talked about her and at the end of the night she grabbed his face and he was checking her ass out. She has a nice body, and is very personable, but immediately I thought WTF! I told him I was watching all night and basically asked if there was something going on. He said he didn't even pay attention to what she was doing and when he looked at her butt, she had bent over in front of him. She texted him and he showed me where she was wondering if she made a fool of herself, and thanked both of us for hanging out to keep her company. I'm just an idiot, is all. This is the first time I felt the non-trust thing, so is it a guy checking out someone like all guys do and my imagination, or is it my gut really being honest.

Good luck with what ever you end up doing, hope you don't find anything and things work out.

You are probably a little sensitive in this area, and rightly so. Be honest with your bf and tell him why it makes you uneasy, and then let it go. You either trust each other or you don't. I don't know if any healthy relationship where one person is checking up on the other one to make sure they're being honest. If you don't have trust, you don't have a relationship. He can't help someone else's actions toward him. He could avert his eyes, but he's a guy, so. You called him out on it, so he's aware you are uncomfortable. Open communication is always the best policy. If he is truly a caring person he will get your sensitivity and behave accordingly. If he flaunts it, then you need to move on as this is not the right person for you.

Why not take your tennis shoes out of your closet put them on and run my dear as fast as you can. You have been in this situation before. Why open yourself up to the stress of wondering and the pain of finding out. I always believe that if you look you will find. Save your money and buy yourself something nice. Trust is not something to mess with. Just my opinion that wasting your valuable time on someone one you obviously don't trust in not a good recipe. Good luck to you...

I found out about my ex scumbags cheating on his cell phone. It was all there in text messages he didn't erase.

If your friend is a sound sleeper you could look at his cell messages. He may be smarter than my ex and erase them.....you could look at the numbers in the cell and see if there are women there you don't know......

God luck!T

Women may be under male names in the phone.

Men with boats tend to use them for cheating... just sayin'.

If you think he's cheating, he most likely is.

you can pull all the data off his phone and read every text message. Bet there is something there. Put a voice activated recorder on the boat.