Move away from him and let go. I went through the same thing and I stayed and even married him, now 18 years lately I am crushed because I should have walked away earlier. These kinds of men do not change and you will not be happy.

You answered your own question in the firt paragraph. He has was too much baggage for you to handle. It wont work until he finds the help he needs with the deamons he has. I would end all contact and try to heal and move on. This in not a healthy place for you to be. There are people out there that are not on drugs or alcohol and also are not violent. Let this one go and find another. They are out there ... your path just has not crossed with theirs yet.

You're a single mom, he drinks too much and he cheats. Humor or no humor, he is detrimental to you AND your kids.

I completely understand being drawn to someone you shouldn't be, believe me. It's very hard when your heart wants to go a certain way and the rest of you is saying no.

I think you know what to do, it's just hard because you obviously have a few good memories there and a similiar sense of humor which is powerful. But you are feeding it and not allowing yourself to remember all the bad stuff by having an occasional contact with him. It's "safe" that way because you aren't with him long enough for anything bad to resurface. But you know it's there.

You are having a hard time feeling anything for this other guy maybe because of this contact. No matter how hard it is, tell your X you CANNOT see him or talk to him anymore. THEN STICK TO IT! If he calls, say I'm sorry, I cant talk.

Even if you don't feel anything more for this new guy, maybe he isn't exactly right, you have set yourself a new standard - NO USERS! You will feel better in the end about yourself and it will be reflected outward.

it's hard to move on from anyone you had a connection with.. no matter how it ended and what kind of person they are. i went through a relationship like this when i was a teenager. he was a drug addict, cheated many times, lied, abused me physically, verbally and emotionally. i ended it because in my head i knew it was the right thing.. but in my heart i still couldn't move on. it took me a whole year to actually look back and not only know i did the right thing, but to FEEL it as well. sometimes there is a severed connection with the heart and the head.. it's hard to get through sometimes and hard to stay rational. but you gotta just keep your head up and stay strong, and know what's best for you, no matter how you feel. and eventually, your feelings will match up with your head. you did the right thing by ending it. now you just have to be strong and stay true to yourself. and cut all ties.

and also, you will find someone that you'll have a strong connection with, if not stronger. and you'll learn that there is such a thing as being treated better than that. and you'll look back and say, "what was i thinking? how could i have thought i couldn't find someone better?" i have been through it. each relationship i had was better than the last. it gives me hope that my next one may be the one that will last a lifetime.

Hey!!! Thanks for your comments hopefully I can draw strength from them!!!