Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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Tmjeffe 07/30/2017

This This is my first post. I've been married. 26 yrs and am filing for divorce. My ex ignored me for the last several years. We worked opposite hrs and would go for days not seeing each other. Then on the days that I would come home and he was home he wouldn't even acknowledge me. He would lavish love on our dog instead. He sometimes would say say hurtful things to me, like the reason my stomach is not flat is because I'm getting old. I tried so many times to tell him he was losing me but he wouldn't listen. Now he's being mean and selfish. He drained our account and is telling our adult sons that he wants to kill himself. So many other things he's doing. My heart is so broken.

veggiequeen 07/30/2017

The fact that he is telling the boys he wants to kill himself or the fact that he would fall all over the dog and ignore you tells me he is ALL about grabbing the attention for himself (and probably to try to convince them all this is your fault because you are the "mean one" who is filing for divorce) speaking as someone who has spent the better part of my life feeling responsible, being ridiculed, beaten down I am here to tell you ....while you may be heartbroken and hurt right now I believe you will find that getting far away from this selfish cruel man will help you tremendously,

it is hard and scary to venture back out on your own (I am living proof as I am still just mustering courage to take those first steps myself.) Each time I am ready .....something else does come up to keep me here. I do wonder if that could be what's behind his "suicide threat"....to keep you there.?

I am hoping that I can draw some courage and support from others here to give me that gentle prodding i do need to keep me going. I believe you could too. My thoughts and prayers are with you as you continue on your path to a healthier, happier life.

Tmjeffe 07/30/2017

Thank you. I'll never go back. It's very painful. I just thank God my boys support me. I never realized how mentally abusive he was but I do now. Veggiequeen, I highly recommend that you find the courage to do what you know you should. Ask yourself this. Is he listening to you, really listening?

veggiequeen 07/30/2017

Thank you. In our case we both come from dysfunctional families. When I said about always feeling responsible and being ridiculed and beaten down ....alot of that was as I was growing up trying to care for an alcoholic father who couldn't cope after his wife (my mom) suddenly died leaving him with 2 young children to raise (and 2 older ones already out of the house) At 15 I believed it was my job to take care of dad and a 10 year old brother who would quickly grow to become a drinking buddy for dad and very hateful toward me.
Now, with hubby,
I do often feel discounted and occasionally ridiculed with subtle little digs here and there. I do know what I want and need to do just trying to muster that courage.

PS Sadly no one really listens to me .....I have become far too chatty. I tell friends and coworkers I used to be very quiet.....They look at me and grin and say "what happened?"" lol I tell them i am trying to make up for lost time. :)

Q-dot 07/31/2017

I know it's hard and scary to venture back out on your own but for someone who doesn't see your value, why would you keep letting yourself get hurt. you can still find happiness, love and fun. sometimes you just have to say its enough

Tmjeffe 07/31/2017

Agreed. It is so hard but it's also distructive staying in an unhealthy relationship. Trust me, it hurts your family and friends as well. I thought thought I was hiding my pain so we'll but I found out that my children and sisters saw it all along and it hurt them. I did the right thing by leaving.

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