Thanks Tsveta. That means s lot. I woke up at 3 this morning and came to the conclusion of that we need to go our separate ways as soon as possible. I am setting up an appointment with a mediator, and then it will just be about one of us moving out and custody arrangements. I cried basically until 6 this morning, and now have to go into a job that I not only can't concentrate at, but one that I have come to hate. I am more down than I have ever been. Always darkest right before the dawn, right?

I think we're all on the same schedule. I wake up at 3 and can't fall back asleep. My daughter has crawled into my bed by then so I just hold her and cry. Then I get up at 5 and go to work. Work is actually a distraction from home for me.

You will make it through this. You have thought through everything and have done your best. If she cannot see that then it's her loss (though I have a feeling she may run back to you once you separate). good luck!

I want to say she can kiss your arse with the 50/50 on the inheritance request....how the heck can she feel okay with asking for that?!? Wow. Just wow. You don't HAVE to give it to her, it's ultimately what you agree to in the divorce. If you don't want to give it to her, then put it in the agreement and say "nope, not getting it." Stick to your guns. Lawyers are there to help you fight for what you want and advise you on what you are entitled to, and to guide you along the way. I must say the mediator and the lawyer we are using are awesome - they tell us what we are entitled to, but we were like no, this is what we want to do. They fought us a little but then after the meeting the one lawyer told us how she totally did the same thing in her divorce...they didn't split everything. She didn't even file the agreement with the court because she didn't want it to be public record.

So be aware that lawyers will tell you what you should do, by the book, but it's important to know what you want and stick to it. If you keep your ground and say no, what can she do? Be mad? Whoopty doo. If you BOTH don't agree, then the divorce will take longer to finalize, until you both agree to what's in the divorce agreement. That's all.

That seems to be a problem for HER, not you. Then SHE can agree to NOT get half the inheritance. Then SHE can have HER divorce quicker and not feel like a "prisoner". Some folks seem to just agree to whatever just to get the divorce finalized quickly. Divorce smart. You don't want to look back in 2, 5, or 10 years and go WHY DID I AGREE TO THAT!?!? SHE seems to want this to move along, so she's trying to pluck at your heart strings...so cut em so she has nothing to pluck. She will keep asking, she will yell, get mad, cry again, blah blah blah....then she will give up. Eventually.
Up her arse with her wanting your mother's money...unbelievable.

OH! And as far as her crappy 50/50 custody comment - that is something that you are aware of and need to take into mind. Regardless you can have 50/50 legal custody regardless of your work schedule. Residential custody will be hers, I'm assuming, but that doesn't mean you can't have them as much as you should. Kids can't have 2 addresses, so it makes sense if they are in the marital home that that's what their permanent address is. But she shouldn't throw that crap in your face to try to make you feel bad and justify her BS. The kids schedule between the 2 of you has nothing to do with legal & residential custody. Maybe her freakin' lawyer should teach her that. There will never be a true split in the time, as it's what works best for the kids and their schooling and extra curricular activities.
Wow, she really pissed me off today haha sorry...but you're not doing anything wrong by working. Traffic happens. I'm sure things will come up with her as well, so she needs to stop acting like she's perfect.

Regarding kids you HAVE to be a team until the kids are able to take care of themselves.

(Sorry, my NY attitude is showing today big time.)

No, I appreciate the attitude. Her words and actions have been horrible the last few days, and really the last 7 weeks. But this stuff with my mom's inheritance, and then to get on me, especially when I had this ridiculously long commute., it just put me over the edge. I actually cried at work when my boss got on me today, and I have never done that before. But to be fair, my boss was over the top in her willingness to help in any way. So freaking embarrassed. It's just been a horrible couple of days.

And to the person who said she'll probably come crying back one day. I highly doubt it. She told me today her feelings for me have completely changed. Such a punch to the gut to hear that.

Have you reached out to talk to a lawyer on your behalf? I'm sorry you are having to go through this especially during this time of year. Prayers that you will soon be able to find a solution to this as well as some peace.

MD, you have got to figure out a way to live separately from this woman. She is going to continue to drive you mad. And probably will even if you live in separate homes. But it would give you a huge reprieve and allow you to start a new daily, much more healthy, routine. And talk to your attorney pronto about what you can do with the inheritance. Sorry she is such a bitch. It will never cease to amaze me how people can change....