Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
So much awfulness today. First, she tells me, after crying to me about how she would never, ever take one penny of my mom's inheritance, that now she believes she deserves half. Then I had an awful 3 hour commute home. When I get home, she tells me that my getting home late tonight is one of the reasons I should not have 50/50 custody of the kids. Then, she proceeds to let me know that I have 24 hours to let her know my decision on where we go next- social worker, lawyers, etc. I told her she can't give me ultimatums, and she told me I am trapping her in this house and marriage. F all of this. Oh, and I freaking hate my job. Kill me now.
Koko
I think it definitely helps to have a third party talk with you two. The discernment counselor we spoke to was trained in that specific counseling as well as divorce coach and therapy. It obviously did not help our marriage but It helped me realize there was nothing I could do to change his mind....
basnime
You are the most positive person on here usually. I'm sorry you had a bad day and I'm sorry you're going through this. Your faith will get you through.
MontgomeryDad
I am losing every bit of faith that I have. I literally can't take it any more. I've been through too much in the last few years. She has totally changed. Completely different person than the one I grew to love. It's horrifying to see what she has become. I actually called her evil and a bad person tonight. And I meant every word of it.
samantha717
As much as you'd like to believe the promises your stbx makes, you can't believe a single one of them because basically, they are focused on #1 (them). She may feel like she is entitled to half of your inheritance, but check it out with your state. In my state, inheritances are not considered assets to be divided by a divorcing couple unless you deposit the money into a joint bank account. Then it becomes a joint asset. If you keep it separate though, it's not.
kbbcoop77
You really need to see a lawyer..and legally I don't think she can touch an inheritance if it was left to you, but a lawyer can clear that up. I wouldn't put up with too much more of this..continued contact like this is not healthy...and I think Samantha is right don't put that inheritance in a joint account
MontgomeryDad
Well, the problem is, ours is in a joint account. Never thought this would be happening, son ever thought to separate it. Stupid me. My mom would be rolling in her grave if she thought my wife would take one penny. Especially after the way she's treated me the last 7 weeks. She is a bad person. I think it upsets her that I think that. I hope it does.
samantha717
If it's in a joint account, you could be stuck. If you take it out now, it will look like you're hiding it. Years ago, when my MIL died, my stbx got an inheritance from her. He didn't tell me about it, but I saw it show up in our joint bank account one day. A couple days later, it was gone. It was a sizable sum of money. I have no idea what he did with it. I saved the bank records as proof of him hiding money in case I ever needed it.
basnime
You sound like such a sweet and good soul. You have been there for me since the beginning. I hope you can get out of sharing that inheritance with her. That is not right that she would even consider taking anything from you. I agree it is hard to keep the faith and you feel like you're waiting for the other shoe to drop constantly! But we are somehow still here. Keep in touch MD! Hang in there for all of us.
kbbcoop77
She's showing her true colors..believe me when I say it gets worse not better. I finally had to throw my ex out, she wanted out well out is out. I had enough and that was after 24 years so I get the pain but there's only so much you can take before you have to take a stand..good luck..
MontgomeryDad
Never did I think it would come to this. It's not so much that she wants it split. It's that she wants that after crying to me, saying she would never do it. I told her how I felt about it.
basnime
If you can, stand up for yourself. She's horrible.
MontgomeryDad
Trying to, but she is brutal and vicious. Not easy to handle right now. At all.
basnime
I can not imagine......
Tsveta
MontgomeryDad please, please stay strong. You have helped me so much here. I wish I could do the same for you. I think you should get her out of your life as soon as possible. I can't imagine the torture you're going through. If the things she is saying are only to hurt you even more, then why keep her in your life? I know that it's not easy, and it won't happen overnight. But you've told me that I deserve better, and so do you. So make a plan, stick to it. Execute it as fast as you can. And then you will be able to start the healing process. As long as she is in your life, she will keep hurting you. We need you to get better. I need you to do better for yourself. Because without people like you, I would feel so lost. Courage my friend! Don't give up on yourself. My heart goes out to you!
Koko
Someone suggested emotional detachment techniques here. Maybe that may help with the pain.
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