I dont really know how to tell you to get over it. I dont know your whole story. But I know I am angry for many reasons at my husband as well. Eventually it just wore me down to this kind of numb indifference. I dont know if that's better or worse. We are still together, so it's probably not good. Are you in counseling? It could help you. Good luck.

I guess at some point you have to let it go being in the middle of it anger is my friend as it is a lot better then depression and sadness. Once you are divorced you have to move on, why would you want to hold on to some thing that is over. The anger now for you is counter productive, I am not saying you have good feelings for your ex. If any thing you should be totally indifferent towards her unless you still have feelings. The opposite of love is not hate.

Hi there. I was angry for weeks and weeks about it myself. All consuming, almost cleansing, righteous anger. I don't know how it will take you to be done with it. Each moves are their own pace. But one morning, after sleeping the whole night thru, I woke up feeling relaxed and calm. Took me a few moments as to what I was missing, and I realized that the anger has settled down. Now and then it flares on up - but it isn't a power everyday. I wish you the best - it will work it's way out in his own time. Stay strong!

I've heard anger begets anger and also takes so much more effort than forgiveness.

Utilize that energy in other ways, find another outlet and make the effort. I don't know how long you've been in this stage, but if it's been awhile, staying stuck is not healthly for you or anyone else. If it is new, embrace it for what it is, then move on. You can do it!

I'm angry like dfc is.

Wick, what IS the opposite of love then?

Stay away from her as much as possible except when you have to deal with her about the kids. In the absence of a target, the anger will start to fade. But it is not a switch that will just stop. It takes a lot of time. Good luck.

The is this whole list of things....unresolved issues from the veru beginning of the marriage right up to the way she completely trashed my on paper during the divorce and the very fact that she so easily threw in the towel.

I want to reconcile the fact that we were not good for eachother; that it wouldn't have worked. But I am stepping backward...at times I can't believe how deeply in love with her I was and in some ways still am. How when I see her, I want her just as much as I ever did, even though she has hurt me so deeply.

Just when I think I am beyond the anger, I think about some of the awful nasty things she's done and how she she never even acknowledged at all how deeply hurt I have been. Her apologies in the past were apologies with rationalizations: I'm sorry I did that but you...or reason I did it was...

I feel so wronged. I did my share of hurting and in therapy recognized my mistakes, apologized openly for them, and committed to making changes to help undo what had been done...but she callously could not accept it. One party wanted to do the work, the other party, she, did not.

My life with my children, my finances, my home all in ruins...because of the determined way she went about exacting her pound of flesh. A horrid person rotting on the inside while exhibiting a sweet, adorable, helping professional on the outside.

Bleh.

Keep the kids as the focus. Work through the anger, but don't act on it. It is o.k. to be angry. You don't have to let the ex see you angry. You can be at her, and not show it for the SAKE of the kids. Kids are the unwielding victims in treacherous relationships between their parents.
Also, check out the single dads community for more advice on being a great dad. You only have one chance at being a parent. Spouses and lovers can be replaced. Kids can't.

I am never angry, even subtly with the children....always playful, loving and engaged. I have never had difficulty with that. But I am worried that they see the extreme distance between their parents and how that will hurt/effect them.