Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I know what you all are going to say, but I just have to put this to the masses. Long story long, I found some messages between my bf and another woman (an old hs gf) on Facebook. I have been having gut feelings for a long time and just decided to check two weeks ago. Well I let it go and checked again to read the full disclosure on Sunday. It went back to Dec 2012, sporadic but talked about personal stuff with me, like knowing where I live, that I lived with my exH while trying to sell house, when I had my kids, his work schedule and when she could come down to our boat. According to the messages it had to be in the winter months because nobody would be there to see and "she" (meaning me) knows people there, etc, yada yada. Talked about sexual stuff (he tried to get it on with her before he met me but couldn't rise to the occasion and he told me about it), about trying again since the one time didn't work well, maybe we can go for more than one round since "I'm not that old ya know".
Well the shit hit the fan on Monday as I have been holding it in, yet trying to dig around. I posted a meme and a status and he questioned whether I thought he was cheating and I said "as a matter of fact...yes". He wanted to know what I was talking about, so I told him I saw the FB messages, now he's claiming someone "hacked" his account and had his personal information thru texts and sent those messages. In the meantime I also sent her a message demanding answers. She gets back to me she has brain tumors, is homebound, and a slew of medical problems and that her husband stays home with her bc she can't be alone. I call bullshit, and made up story. He's never said shit and then once they probably get their stories straight he tells me that she has these things and "should have told me about them" and that no way could she get on a boat as she's 200 lbs and keeps falling down.
My question and it's a dumb one, believe me, is could it be possible for someone to hack the account and know all that stuff and write that? I have had my accounts hacked but in no way on that level of personal information. Just ads and stuff sent to others. If anyone has experienced this or if it COULD be possible, please let me know. Thank you. Personally I believe NONE of it, but I just had to be sure and ask. I need to disengage.
Well the shit hit the fan on Monday as I have been holding it in, yet trying to dig around. I posted a meme and a status and he questioned whether I thought he was cheating and I said "as a matter of fact...yes". He wanted to know what I was talking about, so I told him I saw the FB messages, now he's claiming someone "hacked" his account and had his personal information thru texts and sent those messages. In the meantime I also sent her a message demanding answers. She gets back to me she has brain tumors, is homebound, and a slew of medical problems and that her husband stays home with her bc she can't be alone. I call bullshit, and made up story. He's never said shit and then once they probably get their stories straight he tells me that she has these things and "should have told me about them" and that no way could she get on a boat as she's 200 lbs and keeps falling down.
My question and it's a dumb one, believe me, is could it be possible for someone to hack the account and know all that stuff and write that? I have had my accounts hacked but in no way on that level of personal information. Just ads and stuff sent to others. If anyone has experienced this or if it COULD be possible, please let me know. Thank you. Personally I believe NONE of it, but I just had to be sure and ask. I need to disengage.
hackers are geeks. they don't have this kind of creativity and don't want to have it.
in my opinion, you are going to have to dump your boyfriend. from this point forward, you won't be able to fully trust him and no woman deserves a man that she only half trusts.
you are pretty as a picture. go find a decent man who only needs one woman - you. :)
What's the legal maxim? "Falsus in uno, falsus in ombnibus."
Do you think you'll ever be able to trust him again? If he withholds information from you, that's a bad start for a relationship.
You deserve better!
definitely get angry. you need to tell him off and replace him.
Hugs
Life is stressful enough without dealing with that kind of agita. Plus that story is so convuluted I'm wondering even if it's true. I know some hackers, and none of them would be interested in writing such "prose" or "fiction." The new excuse these days for everything is "I didn't do it! The computer crashed/ got hacked/exploded/was stolen/ ran away from home."
I empathize with you. But I'd drop him like a hot potato.
Get him off the boat and make him walk the plank to do so, or toss him off, but change all your passwords to everything to really tough ones that he can't figure out because you know he knows them and uses them. And change all your locks everywhere too.
Thank you..I just wanted validation and to put my mind at ease that I wasn't being crazy, yet again..
I'm sorry he's turned out to be such a douche. You said you've had a gut feeling for a long time--you know what you need to do (dump his lying *rse) and it's really tough, but you know you can't trust him. You deserve so much more. Someone who's truthful and loves *you*.
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((llmt))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
it sucks. good luck to you, llmt. you deserve better. :)
"How do you not see the dual personality."
Because many are *very* good at hiding their deception, and because we need to be able to trust our partner. What kind of a life is it if we don't? --> We don't follow them, check their accounts, whatever because we trust them and really--what sort of a life would that be, always feeling compelled to check up on them, waiting to fall over some piece of evidence? No life at all.
Don't blame yourself for trusting him! He deceived you!
He is trying to twist your thinking, you know that, you are a strong - very strong - intelligent woman. Don't question yourself because of his lies.
In reality, yes some one could have hacked his account, but if it has been happen ding since December, I'm sure not only would he have been pissed off and mentioned it to you, but I'm sure he would have changed his passwords.
Even if his account was hacked, unless the person who did it had something in for you and knew you would see it, what would be the point of the whole thing.
Big hugs to you.
Cuz when hackers hack, they just want to cause hate and discontent between couples, and the spend copious amounts of time collecting specific information about people just to accomplish this. They are called "Hate and discontent hackers". Happens ALL the time. I'd know this, because I am in the IT field.
In other words, he's so full of shit, he should be used for mulch.