So, my relationship is not officially over but it feels like it is overnight. Backstory, my boyfriend and I are very different. When we started dating a few months back I had my hesitations about him because he 32 and still uses drugs recreationally (cocaine, mollie, mushrooms, weed etc). I am very much against that and do not enjoy going out to the bars as much anymore.He chased me for a while and He promised me it would not be a problem in our relationship and he would cut back and he really wanted to date someone like me because he is going through a life change and wants to focus more on a relationship, work and his goals in life and he felt I fit in with all of that. Once I decided to give it a chance we ended up really clicking and became best friends. It went fast quick. He has held up to his word about cutting back on drugs and I even went to an event with him last weekend so I could be with him using these drugs for the first time since weve been together and see that it didnt make him that different. We have been spending almost everyday together and he has never asked for space or time away. He made space for me in his closet, started talking about moving in in the future, and I was going to meet his mom for christmas in a few weeks.

Since we do spend so much time together this past week I started feeling taken for granted. I come over and cook dinner while he plays on his phone then after he eats he goes back to doing work on his computer. I suddenly felt like his wife and I was not ready for that. I started to miss the days just a few weeks back where he paid attention to me, so I decided to express my feelings and he blew up. He told me he feels attacked by me and he is NOT willing to change for me and all this stuff that is the opposite of what he told me initially. I tried to explain more but everything I say keeps making him angrier. Anyways, we spent a few days apart and on Friday we talked and fixed it and went to a christmas party together and again, I ended up saying something wrong where he blew up and left the party. It seems that any time I try to communicate my feelings, make a joke he doesnt like or takes to heart or basically express any non positive emotion it is always my fault and I apparently am rude and treat him like shit and he doesnt want to be with someone like that. He cant just tell me it hurts me when you say these things he always has to find some sort of punishment for me whether its refusing to kiss or hug me, not communicating with me or not seeing me. We have had a few disagreements on lifestyle throughout the relationship but we had started to mediate that by me going out with him and his friends sometimes and him willing to do more low key things with me.

So during our fight on Friday night the things he was saying was all over the place. He referred to me as his best friend, tells me he wants to be with me, but then also says I should find someone else, starts telling me he will go to therapy because he knows he is selfish (in the morning he denied saying that) and I am just left so confused. When we wake up in the morning he doesnt want to converse or touch me so I gather my things and leave and he asks me why Im leaving. I tell him becuse he seems like he wants me to go and he replys with "thats not necessariliy true" OMG. I cant deal with it. So I leave and and go out to brunch and a parade with friends and I invite him to come hang out and he declined. I decided it was best to just leave him alone for the day and a few hours later he texts me to check in before he went out that night. We talked on the phone and he proceeds to tell me he is just unsure about our relationship now, he hates the angry person he has become with me becuase hes never been that and he says that I act like a child which has pushed him away and he doesnt feel like seeing me lately. Of course it made me sad to hear but I dont know why he had to call me to tell me that randomly. He then texts me at 3AM asking how my night was and if I made it home safe. 

I am so confused as this whole shift seemed to happen over the course of 4 days. I have wondered if his drug usage last weekend messed him up in the head or if these are all signs of someone who just wants to gain control over someone and this is the real him. Im having hard time deciding if this is a rough patch we need to get through to come to better undertanding or if I need to let go and move on. I am trying so hard to give him space and wait for him to come to me but its hard when he went from wanting to see me everyday to not at all when I feel like I have been the same person all along.