Hello. I am in a similar situation, only it is he who is leaving. He has blamed me for everything. I have never cheated on him or been purposely mean, but my insecurities/depression get in the way. He has left me numerous times, and has always come back a week later. This time last week we got into an argument when I tried to talk to him about my feelings. He went out of town and came back yesterday. He has moved into the spare room after I refused to give into his demands of moving out (we've been married 10 years). I feel very confused, also.

ther are the ones that are confused and then they string us along. Married almost 11 yrs and husband in emotional affair, one day he is decided to get a divorce, next he can't live without me and again talking about divorce. He change a bit but his heart is not into it but I'm not willing to let go. Whatever happens stay strong!!!

In many cases, these guys are insecure users. The like to be comfy in their own little world as long as everything suits them. When it doesn't, they leave only to find themselves having to make decisions, do things they aren't comfortable with ( because they moved out of their comfort zone), so they come running back.

The fact is, they are either committed to the relationship or they aren't. If they threaten to leave, make sure they know the door is closed when they leave and I mean closed. If they do not want to change and work on the relationship, then why let them back in the door to repeat the same behavior. There used to be an old song that had some good words. "when you leave, you'd better pack, cause you ain't coming back and there ain't gonna be no other time"!!!!!!! No-one should have to live in a relationship that you didn't know what you would do or wouldn't do, that would cause the other to leave. This is not healthy and you deserve better.

don't ask yourself what does he get out of hurting, ask what do YOU get out of him hurting you and doing this to you.

time to change the record that keeps playing?

Thank you everyone 4 your replies x i havent heard from him since last wednesday witch i like as i dont want him back as he will never change. we only was 2gether 2 years & he dident show love or effection dident touch me sex was a no go just made excuses why he couldent. i dident feel loved even though i showed him love & give 100%. a good friend said 2 me if this was a buisnes & we was buisness partners & i give 100% & him 20% it would never have worked & thats why it dont work in a relationship. i know this is going 2 be a hard few weeks but with god & my angels (friends,family) i will make it. xx