I understand that feeling. Some days are good and most days are painstakingly heartbreaking. I Understand about going over and over about why he left where did I go wrong. That’s the thoughts that swirle everyday but I have two journals. It’s been 8months since he left me after 11yrs. He has another family. So I have a journal for good and a journal for bad thoughts. Everything in my head good or bad. In the bad journal I wrote all down then after put a big “x” through it. NEVER read the negative thoughts because they will fester. In the good journal could be anything. Ex: I write every morning I wake up. “MY feet have hit the floor.” It’s not a quick fix but it does help. I am still learning how to move forward it’s hard, but I hold strong that it will get better. It’s hard now but writing it down in groups like this will help because we are here for support and to support each other. Strangers or not it’s all the same purpose!!

I appreciate you Sharing your personal story with me . And I find comfort in knowing I am not alone , your situation sounds so much more difficult considering the length of time children. I try to tell myself that I am fortunate it happened sooner than later before kids came into the picture but the pain still is so much even when I try to think this way ... feeling hopeless to see the light at the end . The journaling sounds like a great idea but I’ve been ready unmotivated to do anything , especially writing . It’s almost like I want to torture myself ...

You are not alone, I am right there with you. Do not blame yourself though! I know you want to make sense of all of what is happening but you will never to be able to because he is the one that made the rash decision to leave. At least you are here talking about it, talking helps. For the first month after I found out my husband cheated and was going to leave I was in complete denial and did not talk to anyone about it cuz I kept thinking there is no way this was happening and any day he was going to wake up and realize what a mistake he's making and that he would want to save our marriage and then no one would be the wiser. That day never came and he left 10 days ago and moved 3000 miles away to be with her. Threw away our entire life together like it was nothing. It has been so hard and all we can do is take it day by day and sometimes it seems minute to minute. Just know your not alone in this and if you need to talk please reach out.

That’s what my therapist said , not to try and make sense because right now or even later it may never make sense . I need to focus on taking care of myself finding again who i am without him and knowing I am someone without him

if he made you believe that he made you worthwhile...he didn't love you
if he made you feel that you need him...he didn't love you
only you can make yourself someone
you have that power
you are someone
i'll bet that you are gentle, caring and genuine

See there is definitely support. I understand the no motivation. I have been trying a lot. It doesn’t matter if you have kids or not or whatever. You still had an emotional attachment and for it to be gone is heartbreaking. Yes it’s made it a lot more challenging with our children but it’s amazing what they have done for me. I have traveled down dark holes through this and I know it’s not over. The days come in go and I keep focused on my kids being the one reason I put my feet on the floor.
Be kind to yourself. Your fragile and it’s okay. We aren’t supposed to be over today or tomorrow 5months or for me 8months. I always believe I don’t have time to wallow. I don’t have time to “Be Still” because I am terrified of time getting away from me. I miscommunicated or lack of communication in my marriage and now I see that. One day at a time is all you have to take. Again be gentle to yourself. We are fragile creatures

I am trying to learn how to be gentle with myself but I find myself wanting to torture myself .. example checking social media , having the desire to reach out to him , still trying to justify that he is a good person and it was all my wrong doings . It’s so beyond recongnition at this point ...

This is normal actually,you will soon get to a point where you love yourself more, you will be into where am I mentally right now, let me do some butt
squats make my tooshie firmer, then you'll probably want to check social media to see whats up with him.Normal needing to do this in the beginning.
,The key is always do something positive for yourself after giving in to
the mental hype your mind plays on you because relationships become habitual so even when he's not there- you need to seek him, find him what was he doing,thinking,it can drive you bonkers girl.Another key, my good good girlfriend told me she was in therapy back in h/school-Be Your Own Best Friend- Be your own Bestie.So .............before you go to bed joke around like Okay let me get the kleenex its just me,my boobs,my tears,some fears,but am I hot though Yes, its like talking positive to yourself, playing cute
mind games talking yourself through, What worked for me was when my mate left I changed the house around,the look, so I could have a different experience that he did not share in like a healthy divide- you may want to get
a different hair do,girl try a different recipe- now I know how Emotions get down- they will be sitting there on the stool helping you while your cooking your new recipe and then the nice meal is all done and then you bust out crying saying I cant eat,..........normal this is normal- but freaking FIGHT for yours girl-tear stained makeup running keep half the meal and take the other half to a friends or family and share it with them- but keep half because after
all the crying and snot wiping your gonna be ............famished yes normal for all yes girl, will you get through it yes- after you cry every time snap click your fingers and say NORMAL. Remember this from one angel to another and this shit right here is to this Fu----up place people call a world- this is for the entire DAILY STRENGTH but most of all to special you believe 111, I have
a love for you because in my bathroom I have 2 pictures and they are red and in the frames it says" BELIEVE" to you and all the members fighting every day
SOMETIMES IN LIFE OUR GREATEST DISAPPOINTMENTS ARE OUR BLESSINGS IN DISGUISE.

Bebe11 yes I have a lot of close family and friends who I have been spending all of my time with. They have been so supportive of me , I don’t know where I’d be without them. Thank you for your kind words .