Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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dclaus 04/17/2015

My wife, after 3 months, told me she was divorcing me. I wasn't aware of any issues but she said that during our honeymoon it became acutely clear to her that we were not compatible. I have been devastated by her decision to end our marriage. Last Friday she stopped by to drop off paperwork for the divorce and during that time she slipped in that she was dating someone. She seemed to act like I was supposed to be happy for her and she continued to tell me details. Apparently two weeks after she told me she wanted the divorce, she starting dating this fellow. I feel very hurt and betrayed by her actions and her lack of caring on how this would effect me. This is all still very fresh and I have lost my wife and my best friend all in one fell swoop. I as many people have been hurt in the past and I told her that I was reluctant to get married (I had a previous marriage where my wife at that time had cheated on me with my brother and numerous other people, so I suffered much pain from that experience), but I had started to feel safe with my current/so to be ex and allowed myself to make the emotional commitment for marriage. Since last Friday, I have been trying to avoid communicating with her but she keeps reaching out to me via text, and email asking how I am. Each time she does, it sends me into a depression tailspin.

Please don't troll me as I am already in a sorrowful state.

DC

martiniolive 04/18/2015

For her to be asking you to be happy for her is just cruel!

I cannot imagine that she understands what loving someone means. I am so sorry that you are hurting. I think limiting all communication is indeed the best thing you can do.

fakeblonde 04/19/2015

Holy crap! I'm sitting here literally crying about my situation and happened upon your post. What the heck? Who marries someone after 6 years and then decides on the honeymoon they don't want to be married and then start dating someone a few weeks after that announcement? She has got to be one sick broad. I would tell her you're madly in love with someone new, the love of your life and hope that she will be happy for you in your new relationship! Then block her texts, calls and emails. That would serve her right! Sorry, I guess that's not very mature, but that kind of game playing and manipulation of people's feelings just makes me so mad! I hope you get the support you need from here, and find a way to put all this behind you. So very sorry that you've been betrayed twice now and hope you find true happiness.

Aries1958 04/19/2015

With all due to respect, she has psychopathic personality traits; decides after the honeymoon that she does not want to be with you. She lacks the empathy to understand that you were sick. If she truly loved you she would have been concerned for your health. She marries you, finds another one to love, and expects for you to be happy for her? You are not her best friend, sibling or parent. Those are the only ones that can be happy for her. Grieve, mourn and move on to a better place. She is not deserving of a good man.

Cheppie 04/19/2015

Your wife is trying to justify her behavior. If everyone can just be happy about her behavior, apparently that will make everything ok for her. That's main nuts!

Block her and get out of this marriage as quick as possible.

dclaus 04/20/2015

Thank you everyone for your support and advice. I took your advice to heart and reached out to an attorney over the weekend and my stbx will be notified today or tomorrow that all communication must be sent through the attorney.

Again she reached out to me over the weekend and tried to justify her cruelty. She even pulled the "If you love and care about me, why wouldn't you want me to be happy and move on."

I am forced to wonder, who is this person and how did I not see who she really was during the six years. She is incredibly selfish and lacks empathy toward others. She had the nerve to tell me "I hope you seek professional help, and that I have a skewed perception of what love means." WHAT !?!?!?!?! She clearly has NO idea what it means to love another, and she only thinks of herself.

ChiTownBear 04/20/2015

Sounds like a few people I know.

Sorry, dude.

Welcome to the group.

Aries1958 04/20/2015

She is also very abusive. She is attributing her own character traits on you! She lacks empathy, as I mentioned on my previous reply, I would have been concerned about your health during your honeymoon. Good riddance to her.

deleted_user 04/22/2015

sending a hug your way. remember your latter shall be greater than your past! focus on your awesome future. :-)

kittytruelove7 05/15/2015

And this too shall pass. This is what gets me through each day.

paulfw 05/18/2015

How have you been managing since your original post? I have a similar situation where partner left and is with someone else. The whole thing has taken over my life and I can't stop thinking about it 24/7. Any ideas where the 'off' button is?

murphytoronto 05/18/2015

Paul, there is no off button
It takes a very long time of grieving and its multiple non linear stages

It is approaching two years of separation after 20 years marriage

I think about my past life and wife daily and it is my second thought most of the time, still trying to figure out why?
But I accept and am happy in my new life and relationship

foolmet2wice 05/18/2015

I'm sorry to say it but It sounds like your wife already knew her current "boyfriend" before you married. Why she didn't stop the wedding is beyond me. Maybe she wanted to go to Europe. At any rate, you are better off without her, though you don't feel like that now. You don't deserve to be treated like this. Loving, empathetic people would never treat someone like she is treating you. I'm glad you have a lawyer and the less you communicate with her the better. Someone mentioned chumplady.com . Although it has "lady" in the name it is a site for anyone that has been dumped by their significant other. There are many men on the site. I'm so sorry you are going through this.

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