We all want to see you come through this as a whole person. Because we care and also because we need to believe it’s possible. Lol. Seriously, I do care because I have felt these feelings too. And I understand the pain and constant waves of being so unsettled. Years went by in fact before I decided to try something different. I try to focus on the moment and making myself a better person. That’s it. I know how the mind wants to wander and question all the pain he is putting you through. Keep yourself busy doing ANYTHING but dwelling on it. I know how hard that is. But if you keep replaying bad movies they will become part of you. I hope you can find your hidden inner strength.

That was my mistake that has taken over a decade to heal. Taking her back only if she was 100% into working on our marriage. We didn’t explore the issues that led up to the ‘crisis’ I suffered in silence instead of getting it all out. I have spent the last six months doing that finally. With great success. I believe everything happens for a reason and at the time I wasn’t mature enough to learn what I needed to about myself and our marriage. Now I am and we are really getting close emotionally. And my heathy mindset now is allowing her to finally forgive herself. I think we are meant to be together. However I can’t help but wonder if I had been strong enough to let her go in the beginning how much faster I could have healed. Being with her was comforting but also was a constant reminder. So that’s definitely food for thought. I am pretty sure it kept me from growing. And kept me in pain. But more likely I just didn’t handle it right. I should have done therapy for my self confidence. I am sure it would have saved me a lot of heartache. But I can’t change the past, only learn from it. I hope my experience can give you some ideas on what’s best for you.

well i hear you all. We have been spending some time together and today i asked about her again to know how that is going and i get told that i am pushing him away. is it not my right to know what is going on there too. he says he doesnt want to have these conversations. i think he needs to have them but am i really pushing him away. My feelings are that ihe is trying to make it right with me and keep talking to her too....and i keep telling him that isnt going to happen. I am so confused. I feel like i should just keep bringing it up....please give me some advice on this it is a real problem. Help

Need help trying to understand this. Do you bring up who hs is talking too and has feelings for or just let it alone. we have made love twice and it is all good but i wonder and ask if they are still going strong. Again we are in Wisconsin and she is in FLorida. So is pretty much an emotional thing. He always gets way upset about it and says why do i keep bringing it up. I am the one that usually brings it up and he gets all upset and mad about it. we end up 5 steps back. he told me today that i need to take care of me and let us just work out. I am working on me. I am ok with me. another wrench in this whole thing is that i work for his father and that is an issue too. He says I can quit and I am really thinking about it. It is not a good environment anyways and had been thinking of changing jobs anyway and now this has been brought up and I just dont know what to do. The reason i was thinking about quitting is boss (father ) is really tough on me and I am a christian and he says gd and jc and cusses a lot and treats his employees that shit and throws us all under the bus. He doesnt hold any one accountable for errors people make he hires drugees convicts people that cant get regular jobs or dont want to. I hope you get the idea. he is not running business like you should and just is not what i want to be in. He is selling part of the business so not sure how much it will change. Husband makes what i make in a week in a day. So husband says he can handle bills, but if i quit he will not get the debt paid off like he wants. SO what to do. Sorry for the long rant. I think I need a counsler what do you think. please any suggestions I need help trying to figure all this out.