I feel your pain. I’m going through the same thing right now and it’s been 4 years married for me too. And she’s already on dating websites. And only two weeks apart. So I’m told it’s just a process of emotions we will go through and in time it will get better. But I know exactly how you feel so you are not alone on this one. It’s very tough, just take it day to day until you feel stronger. Each day gets easier and harder at the same time. This is what I’m doing! Roller coaster of emotions, but we must live on and find happiness again. Hold your head up and hope you feel better soon. Be kind to yourself!

You are very strong. Im trying to not fall apart. Its like a part of me is gone. I gave it my all,I was honest and did all I could to make him happy and it wasnt enough. Damn I cant see myself dating after this or trusting anyone again. Thank you for your kind words.

you are never alone and are so much stronger than you think

I’m in same boat lety.
Married 10 years and the last three years have been a major struggle. She is trying to “find” herself as opposed to going to counseling with me. Said she needs to fix herself before she can begin to fix us.
I strongly feel that there is someone else in Line already. I am not trying to blow smoke up my ... but I treated her SO well. So if she wants another guy to make her happy than so be it. Don’t get me wrong....last night was her birthday and the first one we haven’t celebrated together in 14 years so it was very hard. She is ALWAYS on Facebook and unnoticed last night she was not on it at all....hmmmm ya I’m sure something happened.
Stay strong keep your head up and find comfort in knowing that we here have a lot in common. One minute I may be strong and give advice but the very next I’m seeking anyone to talk to me.... it’s a weird game our minds play with us.
Stay strong and try to smile.

I try to smile for people but deep inside i feel like im dieing and when im alone I start crying even at work. Never thought this would happen.

There is no magical answer to take away what you are feeling right now.. There are a few things you can do to help you on the road to being happy again... Oh okay... Right now you're probably saying yeah right it's never going to happen... Stop and think for one moment. Remember a time before you met this person that you fell so hard for... When we fall in love with somebody we tend to put them on a pedestal. Once this happens, We tend to idolize them and we can't imagine our lives without them... It is possible.... And YOU can do it... You can live and love again... Here's my advice... First off delete them from your contacts on your phone and social media... As hard as this may seem you will only be torturing yourself if you're constantly checking their Facebook page and other social media... Delete them... Second and this one is the most important.... Surround yourself with friends and family who will stand with you and support you through this hard times.... You establishing a support system is vital..... Lastly stay busy and start focusing on things in your life to make yourself a better person.... Get out of the house, go do a hobby, go hang out with friends.. The last thing that you need to be doing is sitting in your room staring at the 4 walls.. Get out and stay active.... To much free time to think isn't going to be productive... Your friends and family will be your support when you feel you can't go any further... They will be your rock.... Reach out to them... Sometimes we just need somebody to talk to not necessarily somebody to fix our problems but just to get things off our chest.... I wish you the best... You can and will live and love again.. Your life is the most beautiful thing.. Don't let someone who doesn't appreciate you write the next chapter in your life.... They aren't worth it... If yoy you ever need someone to vent or just to talk I'm here... PM me.

I’m in same boat. I was in a relationship with an alcoholic. I tried to move forward. I moved to a different city. We contacted me again after almost 2 years telling me that he loves me which is not true. He loves me only when he is drunk. It is very hard and painful. It feels like I am not able to move forward,

Nights are the worst. damn

I get what you are saying. My partner of 19 years decided 18 months ago that he wasn't happy in life and wanted a trial separation. The whole time he kept saying he didn't know what he wanted. He was lost and confused. Well I found out last month that he has been seeing someone else. He even introduced her to family. His mom thought I knew about her. The whole time I've been believing and hoping to save our relationship he started one with someone new. Yesterday I saw him for the 1st time in weeks and it hurtso bad because I miss him so much
And I feel so alone and lost myself now
All I can do is cry

wow Leftbehind20 Im sorry to hear that. I think he has someone else too. He wont admit it but I know in my heart that there is someone else. I wish he was honest but no .That would help me move on. It would hurt but not knowing hurts me more.

I understand the wanting to know if there is someone else. I suspected there was someone but every time I asked him about it he swore there was nothing going on and I believed him cause I just wanted to save our relationship. If only he had told me the truth it would have hurt then but at least I wouldn't have spent the last 18 months hoping to get back together. Cause now the heart ache is even worse.

I dont understand how can someone be so cruel. Its sucks because no matter what I do I am still thinking about him. I hate it.

I'm so sorry for the pain you're going through. I agree that the best things you can do are to focus on ways to grow as a person, which might mean learning to accept and work through the pain, but also to try new things, and to prepare yourself or focus on what exciting things are ahead. What things did you never do that you weren't able to during your marriage?

Another thing to think about eventually, when you're ready: I would add is that there is always another person out there. I've said this on other threads but will say it here--I believe my therapist who says that if you have even a tiny bit of introspection about your ending marriage, you will make even better mate choices the next time around. So there is much happiness in your future.

I know for me he has said that he didn't want to hurt me by telling me the truth. I said it hurts more now knowing that i had all this hope I was holding on to and that it was for nothing.

And it sucks big time not to be able to stop thinking about him. Or to not be able to talk to him unless it is about the kids. He was my best friend and I miss him so much. I hate myself for missing him and wanting to talk to him just to hear his voice again.

He was my best friend too.I think thats makes it worst. I been trying to keep myself busy but Im still thinking about him. But then I gdt angry because Im sure he isnt thinking about me.